how to create a sex bucket list (and make it happen)

Life is too short not to go on sexual adventures. Seeking out new sexual experiences not only can bring you closer to a partner but also can help you learn about yourself and connect with people in a way you may never have before.  There’s so much out there to do sexually, but not everyone is aware of all the possibilities. Check out few things you can try putting on (and crossing off) your sexual bucket list, ranging from the slightly risqué to the outright kinky. Or use them as inspiration to let your imagination run wild.

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bare it all in public. 

There’s automatic bonding that happens when people, even strangers, are naked together — and fortunately, there are many opportunities to experience this: nude beaches, bathhouses, hot springs and more. If you’re extra feeling extra naughty and want to venture into public (or semi-public) sex, look into clothing-optional resorts or sex parties, which provide shame-free settings for people to explore sexually on their own or with partners. Just keep it legal.

experiment with a flight of lubes

You've been to whiskey or wine tastings. But have you taken the time to sample lubes? The idea is to use their different textures, ingredients (CBD, anyone?) and levels of slick to enhance play and help you find new faves. How many can you use in a single session? How create can you get? How long can you stretch foreplay?

become your personal call guy (or gal).

Create a list of outrageous (long-lusted for) demands and make your relationship professional. Imagine the tease!

expand the size of your sexual buffet.

Think of it like this: if your menu only has a few items or you always go to the same restaurant, your options are limited. But if suddenly your buffet has a 1000 items, suddenly your appetite expands. Same is true about sex. If you can’t imagine what to put on your sex bucket list, follow sex coaches, listen to sexy podcasts, read erotica to broaden your palate and possibilities. 

uplevel your podcast library.

Swap out business, politics, finance for erotica, erotica, erotica and become a connoisseur and an expert in the art of pleasure. Yours and theirs. 

design a sexy scavenger hunt. 

We love a competitive game of paintball. But make your next trip into the woods all about sensual acts of adventure. Use mother nature for props and your bodies as inspiration. Might we suggest bringing our outdoor games sex mat along for the ride.

attend a sex party. 

Expand your horizons and your friend group with a whole new world of what’s possible when you step outside your comfort zone. If you're new to play parties, no worries, sex obviously isn't mandatory. Just know your boundaries before you go so you don't feel pressured and enjoy being a voyeur for the night.

become a pair of water babies. 

Create your own bucket list within a bucket list. Pool, lake, hot tub, ocean, river, reservoir… see how many you can add to (and cross off) your list. And while you're there, see how long you can hold your breath underwater ;)

have hands-only sex.

Bring each other to the edge of heaven only using your hands. Next time, use only mouths. Next time... hmmmm, we see a creative pattern forming.

book new-positions-only weekends

You might not have six hours on a Tuesday night to burn through the kama sutra, but you can save at least an hour or two on weekends to test-drive new positions. Make a vision board to inspire your creativity and up the eroticism. Flipping through a curated book of things you'd like to do with your lover is foreplay in and of itself.

spend a weekend in bed.

Take a leaf from John & Yoko’s book and set the stage for a sex marathon. Discover new erogenous zones, new sex positions, new sounds, new techniques….

make sex a gourmet experience.

Whipped cream. Chocolate mousse. Cherries. Take all your favorite sensual tastes and textures and serve them a la carte.

learn erotic massage techniques.

Learning new and better sex skills boosts your pleasure and your brain power. Sign up for an online or in person class to find new ways to stroke, tease, edge, play and more. Practice on yourself or your lover. See if you can regularly incorporate this into your play dates.

recreate your favorite sex scene. 

Combine role play with costume play plus cinematic magic to add spice to your repertoire. Need some cinematic inspiration? See Saltburn, Lady Chatterley’s Lover, Duck Butter…

worship that booty

If anal play isn't part of your repertoire, perhaps you make 2024 the year of the booty. There is a whole new world of pleasure, play and toys to be experienced if you're open to the idea. If you're a veteran of the anal game, consider spicing things up by finding new things to do while wearing a butt plug.

kink up your toy closet. 

Blindfolds, masks, wands, strap-ons, swings, floggers. If you need tips on your technique, book a session with a Domme or an online sex class or workshop with a sex coach, sexologist or other pro.

try a 30-day sex challenge.

Keep things spicy and encourage creativity, curiosity and play with a challenge that inspires a month straight of fucking.

learn the art of the lap dance. 

It doesn't matter whether you have zero, one or several people in your lap dance chair, learning how to move in ways that feel delicious can help you find new language in your body, different ways to express your needs, how to communicate through energy you exude, tap into emotions that stir inside or role play your moods. An easy way to start is through exploring music, lingerie and of course, our how-to guide.

book a pay-by-the-hour motel.

Cue the role play. How differently will you fuck in hotel room full of mirrors and a vibrating bed? Only way you'll know is if you try it.
 

get pro advice. 

There are lots of sexuality professionals out there that people don’t know about, and even booking just one session can be life-changing. There are sex therapists (psychotherapists who specialize in sex), sex coaches (people whose sole job is to advise people on their sex lives), and even sexological bodyworkers, who use hands-on touch to help you learn about your body. Even if your sex life is already going well, you don’t know what you don’t know, and an expert can give you suggestions on how to expand your sexual horizons.
 

attend a sex workshop. 

From tantra workshops to oral sex classes to women’s consciousness-raising groups, there are tons of events out there for learning about sexuality and exploring your own sexuality with like-minded people — and nowadays, many of these events are online and accessible from any location. Check out local sex-positive and tantra groups on Meetup.com, workshops run by sex toy shops, or Bodysex workshops for women.

explore touch-free orgasm.

Orgasms from genital stimulation are great and all, but have you ever tried to orgasm solely with your mind? Believe it or not, many people experience this, and there are lots of ways to do so, including breath work, visualization, sexual meditation, hypnosis, and more. You can start by searching through erotic hypnosis videos on Youtube (or finding a hypnotist who can provide you with personalized sessions), or sitting and meditating on a thought that turns you on while imagining that you’re carrying the sexual energy from your genitals through your body with your breath. Here’s an audio guide that can get you started. Just remember not to judge what happens as you venture into new sexual territory. The important thing is to keep an open mind and be proud of yourself for getting out of your comfort zone. 

be your lover’s plaything for a day.

Spend a whole day at the mercy of their finger on the remote control of your favorite sexy toy. Bonus points if you record audio on your most climactic moments. 

What's on your sex bucket list?