1. seal it with a crimson kiss
Your soul-fucking sex date deserves an RSVP. Set the stage with an invite served up on a tray, written on embossed paper, in dripping red ink, with your lipstick-stained lips as the seal. If you don't own paper, improvise ;)
2. seduce them with scent
Heighten the senses with some erotic scents, like an aphrodisiac candle or incense that deliciously shifts the mood.
3. connect with your eyes
Look them in the eye. Sitting just out of finger’s reach, hold each other’s gaze and feel the heat start to rise from the deepest part of your body. There’s nothing sexier than deep, raw, naked connection.
4. get on the same wavelength
Start with energy play to align your chakras, your moods, your presence so you’re connected on a juicier, more soulful level. This also keeps distractions out and intentions clear. We loved the whispered technique that medium Jamie Butler teaches her students.
5. breathe together
Connect through sexy breathwork that syncs your breathing with your partner’s.
6. adorn your body with symbolism
Wear a symbol of your union — like a necklace with interlocking rings — as a touchstone of your deep, soulful connection. As your bodies intertwine, the cool metal on hot skin will remind you why you’re here.
7. make undressing an event
Undress each other slowly and mindfully. Unzip their boots, slip off their panties, unbutton their shirt. unhook their bra and deliciously slide it off their bodies so they feel and you see every touch. Bonus points every time you kiss the skin you just revealed.
8. take time to dirty talk their soul
Who doesn't love some good, old-fashioned hyping up of your cock and/or pussy worship. Celebrate all the deliciousness of whatever they’re working with, how it looks, how it smells, how it tastes and let them revel in your appreciation.
9. block the clock
Give yourself time on the calendar to sink into the moment and take it xxxtra slow. Sure, you can have an eye-gazing, soul-fucking quickie, but why not drag the living fuck out of the moment and make this baby last for hours.
10. be vulnerable
Baring your heart and soul takes courage, so center yourselves in the space by speaking from the heart. “I’m feeling scared. I’m excited. I’m really glad we have this time together….” Tell them what’s true for you, and vice versa, and watch what magic unfolds.
11. say thank you
Show appreciation for each other… for how they touch you, for how they show up, for the way they listen to your desires, for the way they help you uncover the pleasure you ask for, for how open they are to you.
12. start with some audio fucking
Music can convey what words can’t. To help transcend the ordinary, create a playlist of extraordinary tunes that reach deep and take you both to another realm where anything is possible. Or discover erotica that invites deeper levels of play and connection.
13. get filthy
Talk dirty. In the heat of the moment, speak the words that drive your lover wild. That might mean their favorite fantasy or their favorite poetry, just speak slowly and with lust and longing on your tongue. Pro tip: start dirty talking early in the day
14. keep that eye contact
As you move about the bed, the room, the whole house, keep that searing, soul-searching connection going by keeping your eyes locked on each other. Feel the body heat build.
15. switch up your positions
Play only with sex positions that let you maintain eye contact. Bonus: you might discover some new favorites.
16. let yourself play
Play cat and mouse. Hide in the shadows. Slink down the stairs. Make staying in sync a delicious game.
17. leave an indelible impression
Tattoo their name on your skin…. With lipstick, a red pen, red wine or melted wax. Let them know they’ve made a (soul-fucking) mark. And vice versa.
18. plan a part 2
Pledge to one another that you'll make time for soul-fucking sex on the regular. Whether it’s once a week or once a month, make a date to revisit that temple of lust. (If you’re single, make it a pledge to your self.)
If that's your go-to for eye-gazing soul sex, amp it up with kink, tease, play, toys and more.
20. explore your kinks
Because kinky sex should inherently come with conversations about boundaries, passions, consent, safe words, it opens you for a deeper level of connection, openness, trust and vulnerability.
21. clear the air
Sex expert Kim Anami says in her podcasts that holding resentments about your partner can keep you from being connected to them so it becomes difficult to feel pleasure or reach an orgasm. If you want to reacher deeper levels of soulful sex, reach deeper levels of communication that keep you feeling positive about your lover.