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need products to help you build your own sex room? sex coach nicole nawaz shares
find products to help you build your own sex room from sex coach nicole nawaz
Whether or not you have an extra 6 figures to bang out your own room just for banging, there are so many ways to upgrade your current digs with playthings and products for instant sex appeal. We went to one of our favorite sex-workers-turned-sex-coaches, Nicole Nawaz, who uses her somatic bodywork expertise to give you insights into what toys and tools to have on hand for your ultimate sex room.
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What are some of the most important considerations when building a sex room?
Nicole Nawaz
Comfort and cleanliness. It’s like a sexy way to balance it out. Textures, materials, latex, glass, steel. You want yourself or your guests to feel cozy but also you don't want to be bothered with the mess.
These are things that provide cleanliness but also a variety of ways to play, right?
Nicole Nawaz
Yeah, steel and glass, really great for temperature play, cold or hot. Latex or rubber, real easy to just wipe down. Nothing is porous, you don't want to use porous materials because you don’t want them to soak up liquids.
What are some must-have furniture pieces for sex room?
Nicole Nawaz
A mirror is a must-have. I would say a bench, a nice chair, and something or somewhere you can place a hard point. That would be something that can hold body weight or a certain amount of body weight. A hard point is where you’d anchor something like a hand, maybe we’re using handcuffs. Or the ceiling for the suspension. You can even, if you’re not able to put a hard point in your home, you can always get these kinds of saint andrew’s cross or something that doesn’t have to be on the wall but it’s a device.
This can also be a bedpost, a dining room table, a pole.
To preserve things that might be porous, waterproof blankets are super nice. Pillows for comfort. Weighted blankets are really nice as well, great for after care.
What about room or wall design – what should we not overlook to make this a dream sex room?
Nicole Nawaz
Something versatile that has privacy, access to a bathroom, and wall designs… i’d say things that emote you or evoke emotion. That’s often why you see the same color schemes used….red or black or royal purple. And then textures are a great way to play with your senses. Even textured wallpaper might be nice, especially if there’s an area where you’re going to be playing.
I have a Dominant friend who had just one wall that was a fuzzy wall and that’s the wall where all the work stuff was happening, so that’s pretty fun.
In terms of aromatherapy, candles, music, yes to all of that. When it comes to doing this work, you want to go as far as you can into engaging someone’s senses. How can I engage as many senses as I can without over-stimulating them? Then it comes into color therapy. Maybe the mood for this day is light and airy so maybe with that versatility piece i can have the window wide open for natural sunlight but i also have these really heavy curtains if i need to block out the light and make it really dark
Personally I prefer to play in the daytime. I’m a daytime person. I’m like ‘anybody want to be in rope? Let’s go to the park.”
It’s usually floor rope, maybe a rope share where everyone comes out and we just play.
I think we’re starting to see it more and more. I think the vanilla world isn’t so vanilla anymore. Everyone kinda knows what kink is or has to some degree has explored whether it’s just a blindfold or a gag gift but hey we have it let’s use it. We’re starting to see these kinky things become explored in non-sexual ways because they’re healing.
With rope there’s of course, cultural considerations in how we identify its uses. Blackpeople have a different relationship with it. In that sense, it can be a way to reclaim something, reclaim power, reclaim pleasure, re-introduce to the body somatically something that was once very traumatic but can be extremely pleasurable and that’s where the healing can come in.
And I think just in the general sense we have fear about rope bec if it wasn’t in slavery, it was kidnapping and held against your will and a lot of people do associate those kinds of thoughts with rope bondage, shibari and things like that. But rope is used in the kink and BDSM space
For many different things. There’s the art aspect and there’s the more playful aspect and then there’s the type of haru jitsu which is originally for prisoners, this was how the japanese were restraining prisoners. And in the kink space it’s pretty much used the same way, but in this space there’s mutual consent.
What are the top 3 playthings that most people overlook?
Nicole Nawaz
Costumes and lingerie.
Anal toys because people always assume it’s about going in but it could be just about the area being pleasurable. If people are nervous, they don’t explore, but if you have it there for people to see, someone might be like, ‘yeah i’m feeling explorative today, let’s try it.’
And glass. Glass might be overlooked just because people don’t know much about temperature play but it can be nice on the body. For me, I am very unconventional. I like using things that aren’t inherentl;y sex toys so what i recently did was get those facial rollers, the ones you freeze, those are actually really nice because they’re small they fit into the hands. All over the body. In the erogenous zones. On the face. I think people want to tiptoe and be safe but having your face stimulated in certain ways can be very arousing for people. The lips are an erogenous zone so touch my lips if you’re going to touch my face.
What are some underrated sex toys or accessories that can change the game for a sex room?
Nicole Nawaz
A sex swing. Those are… they have the kind that suspend from the ceiling, super complex, super fancy. Or you can have the ones that go on the door or door frame. People think i’m not kinky enough for that but they’re great for accessibility and ease. I don’t have to do so much more work. We don’t have to figure it out on the bed. You’re tall, I'm short, we don't have to figure it out. So yeah a swing.
I would say a webcam or camera not that it has to be put on the internet but can be something you watch yourself and just get a chance to see what you look like in your pleasure zone or on your pleasure journey. Or if you have a partner, web camming your session and sharing them with your partner.
Restraints are last. On the bed. Or on the wall. Or on a hard point. Having some restraint can change the game. Like they don’t have to be the cold, hard, sharp steel handcuffs. Just anything that will keep someone from moving, from a certain area and get creative. Play.
In terms of bondage play, what should people have on hand if they’re beginners? Intermediate? Advanced?
Nicole Nawaz
This is the pipeline. The beginners you'll see the light bondage, the fuzzy restraints, maybe a tickle feather, maybe wax play. Things that appeal to the sensations are great for beginners. You explore the body. Maybe you have the Wartenberg wheel so now you have the whole wheel of pleasure, you have tickle, you have pain, you have hot, you have cold. Getting one thing that appeals to your sensations is a great place to start.
Intermediate space gets more kink-specific. So I really like electro-stim so i’m going to get my violet wand. And maybe you have paddles now because you’re getting into specific kinks, so impact play, the sensations are getting a little heavier now, so if i’m into stingy or thuddy and now you start experimenting a little deeper. So in the intermediate space you end up expanding your tools or toy kit but yeah paddles are a great place to start, paddles and floggers.
Advanced, you’re going to see harder kink stuff so maybe it is Shibari and rope bondage, maybe it’s medical play, getting into needles or urethral sounding, and maybe it’s more intense. So now the sensations are intense at this point. Instead of an electro-stim wand, now it’s connected to a glove so anywhere you touch on a body will shock a person and it comes with a little gauge so I can turn up the intensity of the electro-stim and you’ll may start getting into whips or things that require more skill.
And it’s just great in general to learn from people who are experienced and also when you join a class you are sitting in community and you’re sitting in community with others you can rely on and people holding you accountable and mediators, and you need someone to mediate or consult with about things. Def continuing education is important in the bedroom.
What are some Dom/sub pieces we should stock and why?
Nicole Nawaz
When it comes to archetype you get more into primalism so maybe incorporating things like animal stuff, some costumes and lingerie that speak to a person’s sexual archetype. I’m a Dominant and i want to feel dominant so I’m stocking up on harnesses and latex and leather because they make me feel like a baddie. And if you’re more submissive, maybe it’s a collar. In the kink space it’s a big thing to have a collar or to be collared by your Dominant. Or to even just buy yourself your first collar because it’s one of those things that feel like an initiation into this person or personality, into this sexual identity and that’s a big acceptance thing. Playing into the look is a great way to see if those archetypes fit.
What are must-have anal play toys or accessories for taking sex room up a notch?
Nicole Nawaz
I would definitely go for a training kit so something that has different sizes that way you can slowly graduate and explore, something that vibrates is also very comforting and adds another layer of stimulation. I would always suggest having one that comes with a tail, which is always fun when you feel like dressing up or getting into role play like a bunny or fox tail. They also have rainbow unicorn ones that are pretty cute too. Just get fun with it.
What if we wanted to have a kink bar stocked with your go-to play pieces… what’s in it?
Nicole Nawaz
I would have vampire gloves which are leather gloves with tiny tiny spikes on them. It’s used more for pain I would say and light sensory touch. Sometimes it can really tickle also having these tiny tiny little scratches on your skin. Definitely playing more into sensation rather tha impact.
I’d also have some massage oil. I like the ones where you can heat up really really hot because that’s also just another way to introduce more play with it.
I like having sex dice where it’s this element of chance you can add into the Wartenberg especially when you want to level the playing fields especially when you’re game for whatever.
An air pulsating vibrator or a vibrating wand. I feel like that’s a classic go-to and it may always be.
Blindfold. It can be a tie or clothing, it doesn’t have to be an actual blindfold. I think the more unconventional you get with it the better.
What if we wanted our sex room to have a curiosity closet filled with random items and playthings that most people don’t think of or know of… you or your lover could just pick an item and play. What types of things you would put in your curiosity closet to drive experimentation?
Nicole Nawaz
Role play outfits, like actual real outfits. Everything I’ve mentioned would be in there. There's so much you can do and when you acknowledge that sexuality changes honestly on a day to day basis, some days we like this and some days we don’t.
When you acknowledge that, you realize how important it is to be versatile in your playthings. Even your clothes. Some people do like to wear all black every day. Some people like change. And their toys and how they choose to play with themselves and others should reflect that.
What playthings and products are you loving to help build your own sex room?
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