how to masturbate "better" — 19 masturbation tips for mind-blowing solo sex
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time to read 5 min
how to master your masturbation game
Your best sex life starts with your best solo sex life. And that starts with staying curious, playful, creative and, yes, sexual. There are endless ways to play and most of the fun is in discovery. We've listed our fave idea starters for upping your masturbation game so you can keep that sexual fire and bring it into your life. As they say practice makes perfect. And probably the biggest tip is that if you can't rock your own world (or at least know your body's playbook), they won't rock it either.
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Start with foreplay.
Yes, even solo play deserves a warm-up. Inner thighs and breasts are the go-to erogenous zones. You can always begin with a massage in those areas or explore new, "untapped" places to play.
Use lube.
Nearly every sex expert agrees that adding more lube (yes, even if you don't need it) can up your experience. CBD lubes, for example, can increase circulation and blood flow. Others can help with stroke or glide of toys.
Give yourself a lap dance.
Turn on your sexiest playlist, and start to move your body, circle your hips, explore your body with your hands. Fantasize about who you're dancing for or just let yourself grind and play to the beats. If you need inspo, try taking a body movement class to ignite your lust.
Try edging.
This is the practice of taking yourself (or your partner, but this is about you) close to orgasm then backing off. Rinse and repeat to keep yourself on the edge for more explosive, mind-blowing orgasms.
Start with a date night.
The same way you build tension with a lover over the course of an evening is the same way you heat up lust for yourself. Wear something that strokes your skin, pieces that light you up, your go-to date-night look. Eat, drink, flirt with life, take yourself home and keep the seduction going. Do you unzip your panties from behind, take one piece off over time, do you give yourself a massage? Luckily there are no rules, only what drives your inner erotic explorer into letting go.
Trade vibes for wands or fingers.
Some experts believe that constant use of vibrators can numb you over time. If vibrators are your go-to, mix it up by using dildos or your hands. Even if it takes longer, you get the long, drippy pleasure that comes from making sex last.
Trade fingers or wands for vibes.
If your fingers are your main sex toys, spring for another plaything to discover more about what you like. The more you can mix it up, the more you can keep your sex life exciting and evolving.
Stack your touch.
Playing with more than one erogenous zone at a time can heighten the experience and help disrupt routines or habits. If you generally focus on just your clit, add a butt plug. If you're go-to move is hit the g-spot with a dildo, show your nipples some love at the same time.
Dress like you're DTF.
Whatever that means to you... whether it's lingerie, body jewelry, a fuck-off, body-con dress, you're tallest, spikiest heels, stockings and nothing else. Your body deserves to be adorned, worshiped and slowly, lustfully seduced.
Switch positions.
If you're always kneeling, try standing. If you're a "lie-on-your-back" kinda solo lover, fuck yourself on all fours. Need inspo? Look to yoga (cross-legged Lotus pose, anyone?) or kama sutra. Manipulating your body helps break up boredom and can uncover juicy new angles and areas to play with.
Keep your lingerie on.
There's something erotic about keeping your body adorned in lingerie. Use it to start to play... trace the lace with your fingers, use straps or ties to experiment with compression or restraint, use fabrics to tease skin with texture. Notice what pieces heighten your pleasure or invite more play. Which ones slow you down, which ones speed you up? Your body is playground and you're just seeing what you can add to the playbook.
Change your stroke.
This could mean switching up what hand you use, how many fingers or hands, how much pressure, stroke style (counter-clockwise, clockwise, sideways, you get it...), speed... Put as much intention and effort in your self-play and you do with a lover... if not more.
Go hands-free.
What else can you use besides your typical toys or fingers? A pillow, a shower head, a piece of furniture, your fantasies.
Engage your mind.
Think of mindful masturbation like calling a play-by-play which can keep you focused on how luscious your body is and prevent your mind from wandering. "My inner thighs feel soft..." "My nipples are getting hard..." "I'm getting wetter and juicier..." Don't forget to compliment your body and relish your curves.
Make noise.
Studies show that the making sex sounds whether it's moaning or straight-up dirty talk can make your experience richer and your orgasms deeper. You don't need a lover to make noise. ;)
Get kinky.
Don't wait for a partner to test-drive new accessories or explore new techniques. Do you like restraints? Tie up your ankles. Are you into booty play? Slide in a butt plug. This will help you better guide your lovers, discover more of what you like (or don't) and find new ways to heighten your experiences.
Embody a new persona
What would it look like if you were a sexual goddess (whatever that means). Are the shapeshifter who presents as modest by day but you're feral by night? Are you dominating? Submissive? Does a pair of glasses and pasties transmute your energy into a high-maintenance bitch? A naughty slut? Play with how your fantasies meet fashion and explore new ways to play.
Change locations.
Try fucking yourself anywhere but the bed. The counter, the shower, the couch, the middle of the living room floor. And that's just inside the house. Where can you play that's taboo (and safe)? Same logic as switching up locations with a lover... creativity keeps your sex life interesting (and your sensual flow ignited).
Cool it down (or heat it up).
Temperature play is one of the easiest ways to keep you in the moment and curious. Whether you're chilling lubes or stainless-steel toys in the fridge or using heated oils for self-massage, see how adding hot or cold temps can change solo sex.
Let a partner play, too.
If you're partnered up, let them guide you in touching yourself but they just get to watch.
Seduce yourself.
If your brain is your biggest sex organ, start the seduction there. Create an ambiance first, spoil yourself with your favorite foods, make yourself a cocktail and revel in every minute of it, pamper your body with a bath. Whatever gets you in the mood with a lover, turn that tease back onto you.
Read or watch what gets you hot.
Whether it's a lusty romance, steamy erotica, a sexy podcast, ethical porn or social sex add it to your foreplay sesh.
Explore more orgasms.
If you've got the clit nailed, how about that g-spot? Have you tried cervical orgasms, nipple orgasms or anal o's? Practice makes pleasure.
What are your favorite ways to amp up solo sex or masturbation with a friend ;)? 👇💋
