what is edging? the BDSM hack for mind-blowing orgasms
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time to read 3 min
edging is the sex tool you need in your kink skills set
Edging is a having a moment (or a lot of moments if you're doing it correctly) in sex circles. It's the idea that you tease, taunt and play your way to as close to orgasm as you can get, then pull away ie taking your lover (or yourself) to just the mind-blowing edge of climax. The idea is that the more you prolong their ecstasy without letting them succumb, the bigger, more intense the payoff.
This consensual, push-and-pull exchange of power is why edging technically falls under the BDSM category. (And if you need more convincing and you're edging a penis, studies have shown the practice of extending the build can help with premature ejaculation.)
Like all things sexual, consent and communication are key (especially when the receiver is close to coming so the giver knows when to pull back). If you need some inspo on ways to extend play, we've listed ideas below... as always, drop your own inspiration in the comments.
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try the squeeze trick
This means squeezing the head or base of penis just before orgasm then waiting 30 seconds before stimulating again.
switch rhythm or patterns
Whether you're using your hands, fingers or toys, if you or your partner are edging toward a clitoral, cervical or g-spot climax, changing directions, speed and patterns can slow your roll. If your lover is close to nirvana and you're using a vibrator, switching off the power is fast and easy.
wear a cock ring
By design, cock rings keep blood flood in the shaft and head of the penis so they stay harder longer, while delaying ejaculation.
stop edging, get a snack
No seriously, grab some fruit, smoke some cannabis, pop champagne... the idea is to keep the mood elevated, arousal high and make them hungry for more. (Note: this isn't a 2-hour lunch break, just hit pause, come back to play.)
use multiple stimulation points
Playing with with more than one erogenous zone at the same time lets you get creative. For example, if you're using a g-spot, clitoral or cock vibrator with a butt plug or wand for extra intensity, changing up the vibe modes can be enough to keep you close to orgasming without going over the edge.
move to other erogenous zones
Inner thighs, necks, earlobes, toes, breasts, whatever drives them wild, gives them a break from genital stimulation and keeps their head in the game.
practice, practice, practice
Masturbate and test-drive the technique on your partners. It might take time to get your own rhythms and timing in sync as well as your lover's so if at first you don't succeed, get your ass back in bed.
add in other types of play
Temperature play, bondage, blindfolds... use them to heighten arousal and heighten the game. Edging gets incorporated as you back off one type of pleasure and move to another.
stay lubed up
Extra-messy glide ensures you can play longer without chafing or pain. Try warming or cooling options for more pleasure.
watch your breathing
As you feel yourself getting close to climax, slow your breathing (try a 4 or 5-count inhale and exhale) to delay your orgasm, up pleasure and edge them closer and closer to climax.
experiment with other sensations
Change pressure, stroke patterns and textures (think feathers, fabrics, nibbles) to build arousal or to stop your lover from climaxing.
discover hands-free orgasms
Stimulate yourself or your partner sans hands using the power of your mind. Techniques using audio, for example, to arouse and edge toward that O are a sexy way to start or mix things up when you're in the middle of giving or receiving pleasure.
What are your yummiest ways, toys and positions to use or experiment with when edging yourself or your lover(s)?
