how to use temperature play in the bedroom: kinky to creative to playful

Curious how to use temperature play in the bedroom? We got so many ways to dial up the heat or cool it down from kinky to playful. Add it to your regular play for better sex… after you've gotten consent, agreed-upon your boundaries, landed your safe word and of course discussed sensitivities and more.

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alternate between hot and cold temps

Alternate between warm and cool, hot and cold to heighten surprise and tease the senses. Think ice cubes and warm massage or cold/hot sex toys.

use your body parts to change it up

Cool or warm your hands, feet, tongue, lips before you touch your partner to change the sensations they experience on their skin or the different parts of the body you’re stroking. Alternate temps to keep the element of surprise.

let the sex toys do the work for you

There’s a hot new world of sex toys out there that heat and/or cool on their own so you just plug and play. We’re loving the OG rabbit vibrator with a perfect curve that brings the heat directly to g-spots. Or this Bellesa penis stroker that gives shafts the warmth they crave.

use jewelry as a sex toy

Think icy strands of pearls across the body, waist chains chilled in the fridge… take your fave jewels and heat or cool them for erotic sensations across your skin.

get creative with massage oil

You’ve warmed massage oils in the past and even used them room temp, but what if you alternate between warm and cold? What does it feel like on their backs, their feet, their thighs, their cock, their pussy, their ass?

start with steamy hot, then cold plunge

We know you like it hot, so start off with the steamiest shower you can tolerate to warm your muscles and your mood then move to an invigorating cold bath. This might also be an immune system booster, but right now we’re just here for the smoldering sex.

make tub time a little icier

Steamy hot water? Check. Bubbles on overdrive? Check. Now you get to fuck their head (and body). Drip ice cubes over shoulders, drizzle cold champagne wherever you want to lick, massage their necks with chilled massage oil. A hot bath hits different when you chill it out a bit.

blindfold them

You know us. We love a little sensory deprivation especially when combined with temperature play. Take your mask or blindfold to the bath, the bed, the backseat of the car to heighten the experience.

create a flight of objects

Think whiskey flight but instead your partner is blindfolded and you’ve got a sexy lineup of hot and cold objects from sex toys and lingerie to erotic oils, lubes, spirits, wax and more. Let them explore and choose what to play with next.

kiss them coldly

We love a sexy AF makeout sesh with old-school ice cubes added. Whether you hold the cubes in your mouth or on your tongue before kissing or graze your lover’s lips with drips of ice, you turn your kiss into a whole new realm of temp play on its own.

take your kiss down south

You’ve melted their lips and tongue with ice kisses, now make an icy trail that moves down their neck, chest, tummy pelvis, around to inner thighs, booty, wherever body parts needs a cool down. If they prefer warm sensations, swap your ice for heated massage oil.

role play the ice queen and fire king

(Or vice versa). One of you brings the heat, the other the chill. What sort of power play ensues?

heat up/cool down your go-to moves

Is your fave way to give a foot massage? Are you the queen of using your tongue? Have you mastered the hand job? Are you a g-spot whisperer? Consider how you can make your money shot even hotter (or colder) by using heated lubes, chilled dildos, ice cubes, hot massage candle wax….

play with your food

Feeding each other, eating food off each other’s bodies, drizzling cocktail hour over lover’s back… all amazing options. How can you incorporate warm/cool temperature play? Think molten cake or chocolate fondue, cold AF cocktails, frozen berries… make their body the platter so their skin experiences the temperature play.

heat up your erotic massage

Add temp play to your erotic massage with heated stones, warm blankets, heating pads, massage oils and see how adding ice cubes or chilled oils excites, titillates and arouses.

add temp play to BDSM

Heighten your senses during a scene by adding ice cubes, cold dildos, chilled restraints or warm vibrators. How does it change the power dynamic?

pop your handcuffs in the fridge

If you’ve got steel or metal cuffs, how does chilling them alter your lover’s mood?

“torture” them

How much cold or warmth can your partner take? Put agreed-upon time on the clock then see how much play they can take. Toss in a blindfold if you want to go pro.

withhold what they want

Think edging but using temperature. Use heated or chilled sex toys, massage oils, lubes and other play things to edge them closer and closer to orgasm before backing off.

put your sheets in the dryer

Turn your bed into a vehicle for temperature play by tossing your sexiest, chicest, sleekest bedding into the dryer (satin or silk). Keep playing with heat or alternate with your fave crystal dildo on ice.

work your booty

There are sooo many nerve endings in your booty that respond to temperature play. We love stainless steel butt plugs, like this one from Njoy, because it leaves your hands and lips free to keep playing. 

turn up the heat on missionary sex

If you're relying on your go-to sex position for 90% of your sex seshes, then temp play is one of the easiest ways to sex up your bedroom game. Grab an ice cube and play.

have you mastered how to use temperature play in the bedroom? give us the scoop in the comments.