10 sex + relationship red flags + signs you're not being true to you
any of these sex + relationship red flags feel familiar?
Whether you're in a new relationship or one that's been around for a beat, it's always good to do a little self-reflection to make sure you're giving and getting what you want and need — and what's true to you. We put together a list of signs to look for in a situation that's out of balance. If you find yourself doing any one of the below, look for ways to hit reset and even the playing field so you're operating according to your True North rather sacrificing just to pass the time or scratch an itch. ;)
you sacrifice more than compromise.
Love, laughter, fun, fucks... it's all a two-way street of give and take. If you're constantly giving in rather than giving and receiving, your relationship is outta balance. Sure, you won't always get your way, but you shouldn't always be the one relenting.
you find yourself performing.
If you're **pretending** to be something or someone you're not, versus **being** the authentically delicious you, then you're living in a way that's untrue to you. Sure, there's something to be said for faking it till you make it, but that doesn't apply to orgasms, partners or overall pleasure. You've got too much to lose in not being you.
fucking leaves you less-than-fulfilled.
If you're communicating want you want in bed and still not getting it, that's one thing, but if you're the shy, quiet type and your partner is missing your (silent) signals, throw them a bone and speak up. Yes, even if it your needs seem "too much" or "too embarrassing" or [insert myth about a woman's sexual pleasure here]. You'll both win if you're open to sharing what works for you.
you don't tell the truth (well, your truth).
Maybe you tell little white lies to seem more "appealing" or "interesting", or you pretend to hold the same perspectives, opinions and dreams as your love or lust interest? Lies (even the ones that seem innocent) cheat you of you, your wants, needs and desires, and lessen the chance of finding someone more compatible with who you are and what you're up to.
you think they're perfect.
Unless you're fucking a real-life deity, it's likely you've got yourself a regular, perfectly imperfect human just like the rest of us. Putting someone else on a pedestal (even if they give you the best damn O of your life) puts you in a lesser position and you're worth more than that.
you keep your wants, desires and needs a secret.
Withholding your truth is just as a much a red flag as lying about it or sacrificing it. It's not up to you to morph into someone else's dream partner, but it is up to you to communicate your expectations, likes and dislikes so the healthy dialogue can start.
Whether it's a people-pleasing nature or a tendency to avoid conflict, saying "i'm sorry" when you don't need to be always puts you at fault whether or not you've done anything "wrong". Besides the fact that we all fvck up from time to time, apologizing can chip away at your self-worth and lessen your power.
you change for them.
When you change your plans, your personality, your lifestyle to fit their world view, you might as well be invisible. Keeping up the charade is not a sustainable solution for soul. Ditch the fake shit and shine with authenticity to be a magnetic for the someone that's right for you.
you question yourself.
If a relationship brings you anxiety or makes you constantly second-guess yourself, consider why you're not trusting yourself and either switch up the dynamic or sub out the partner.
you become their mirror.
At first it might seem fun to be a chameleon (looking at you, Pisces). Sure, you're learning so much about stuff you seriously have no clue about. But the charade is gonna hit the fan as soon as they as want you to share your fave cryptocurrency or wax eloquent about Sunday's game (there was a game Sunday?!). Differences are sexy and leave room to share and grow.
How do you stay true to you? What sex and relationship red flags have you discovered for yourself? Drop a share in the comments.