more pleasure + better sex? try these secret weapons in the bedroom
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time to read 7 min
how much pleasure you can add to your sex life? try these better-sex secret weapons as inspiration
From hand tricks and tongue twirls to flexible sex positions and rumi-adjacent dirty talk, we all have our secret sex weapons we use in the bedroom to up-level pleasure.
Problem is that sometimes even our secret weapons can hit a plateau unless we breathe new fire into them. Below we listed some tips and tricks for adding more pleasure in bed. Use them to inspire your next play date.
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for more pleasure:
take control.
How does it feel to change up the power dynamics? How can you explore new ways of being that let you voice what you secretly desire? Is it a change in location? An outfit change? New rules of the game. Step into something new and see what pleasures you can find in the unknown.
for more pleasure:
don't forget the nips
Dress up in your favorite, erotic gear for an at-home boudoir shoot and take some artistic, avante-garde snaps of you at your most sensual and deliciously hot. Then, drink in all that gorgeousness....
for more pleasure:
use a squirt blanket.
Or two or three... Basically keep one on deck so you feel the freedom, joy and passion of just letting go and not worrying about destroying the bed, couch, chair, car [insert fuck space here].
for more pleasure:
add good vibes.
We love adding a good sex toy during sex. Slide a vibrator onto clits or shafts during penetration for more intensity. Or rest on your cheek to up-level a blow job.
for more pleasure:
sport a butt plug.
Since booties have an insane number of pleasure points, adding anal plugs to play time (whether solo or with lovers) can add a new element of fun. Try it with a position that you want to breathe new life into (like missionary).
for more pleasure:
blindfold them.
Most things get a little yummier in the bedroom when one of you is blindfolded. Not just for the kinksters anymore, masks and blindfolds are a sexy way to add mystery, power dynamics.
for more pleasure:
start the tease out in the streets.
We love when foreplay begins with the sunrise and doesn't finish until you do. Try lingerie pieces that work and play in the streets and sheets to keep the tease hot.
for more pleasure:
bring on the hitachi wand
This seems to be almost everyone's go-to vibrator so if it isn't in your pleasure rotation, get on it. It's big, it's unsexy, it's got a powerhouse motor and oversized head so you forget it's big and unsexy. We also hear you can also use it to give a massage.
for more pleasure:
tricks from your local Domme.
Up your confidence and power plays with dominatrix classes that not only help you ask for what you want in bed (and life) but they help you shift power dynamics at home and in the wild. Bring them back to the sheets for pro-level pleasure.
for more pleasure:
act like you give a fuck.
Passion, like life, can be all about the attitude you show up with. Bring enthusiasm, wonder, curiosity, compliments and a healthy dose of pussy or cock worship for next-level bliss.
for more pleasure:
try 2 fingers instead of one.
Stroking the g-spot? Fingering the anus? Teasing the frenulum? Whatever you're doing, trying adding another digit (or 2) to see how that changes pleasure for yourself or your partner.
for more pleasure:
give them your best grind game.
Finding new movements in your hips and legs can bring completely new (+ hot) experiences to your cowgirl positions. Find online workshops or IRL classes that show you all the many ways to grind while you up your stamina and strengthen those knees.
for more pleasure:
trade sexy playlists for audio porn
Whether you're listening to erotica, instrumental hypnotic beats or sexy sounds, stimulating your ears while you stimulate everything else can up your orgasms, arousal and fun.
for more pleasure:
play with energy.
Hands-free orgasms are more than a cool party trick, they're an amazing way to feel more connected to your body and your partner. Try this energetic trick for full-body orgasms from energy worker, Jamie Butler or these five ways to get hands-free orgasms from sexologist Suzannah Weiss.
for more pleasure:
hold hands
Not all that controversial or breakthrough, but it's something we forget. Holding hands can make even the most routine or basic positions more connected, intimate and passionate.
for more pleasure:
tie one on, up, in...
We love to keep our lovers in their place and, of course, are down for the occasional self-restraint. You can use anything from ropes, cuffs and lingerie to stretchy-strappy harness straps like our SNKX. Restrain arms and legs to each other, to you, to furniture... whatever play time calls for (and gets consent for....). Start your night wearing them to accessorize your fit and let your lover know they're destined for the bedroom.
for more pleasure:
change your patterns
Don't let your go-to moves become ho-hum. Learning new oral tricks or hand strokes is as easy as taking an online sex workshop, diving down a reddit rabbit hole or tossing out the topic at your next dinner party.
for more pleasure:
switch your grip
Because every cock has a mind of its own, just ask what they like... And if they're down to play, experiment with new grips: two hands twisting in opposite directions, circling the frenulum with one or two fingers, using your mouth and hands while adjusting the hand pressure, try whisper-light strokes, whispered breaths, feathers, strokers. Make it a game and play with no time on the clock.
for more pleasure:
try a Wartenberg wheel
Experiment with different types of pressure in various parts of the body and see what ignites.
for more pleasure:
take your erotic blueprint quiz
Once you learn your erotic blueprint types, you'll have a whole new arsenal and language for exploring what you like. And if your lover learns their blueprint too, the two of you can expand your pleasure together as you discover more about what you like and don't.
for more pleasure:
hang a sex swing
They're not just for better oral sex anymore. Hanging your swing in your bedroom or [insert fav place to fuck here], you create a more sensual, sexual ambiance and playful energy to your space. Not to mention, they're fucking fun + easier for the top.
for more pleasure:
uncover kinks, fetishes + curiosities with your lingerie
High heels? Thigh-highs? Elbow-length gloves? Corsets? Chokers? Whips? Wrist cuffs? Body chains? Find the lingerie or accessory kink that revs you up. If you're already there, can you layer, morph or up-level by styling with new or different pieces?
for more pleasure:
explore porn or a social-sex site.
We love MakeLoveNotPorn social-sex mission. And besides being a turn-on, you can use their videos to discover more of what you like (or don't) why seeing normal people enjoying normal sex. And yes "normal" includes everything from missionary to kink so search and find what you're curious about trying.
for more pleasure:
show off your (strip)tease
How naughty can your lingerie get? Look for style that unzip, or ouvert sets that leave peek-a-boo openings in all the right spots. Use them to visually taunt your lover all night, turn yourself on with possibilities or just practice your end-of-the-night strip.
for more pleasure:
use CBD sex serums + massage oils
If you're down for heightened arousal, increased blood flow to your genitals, heightened sensitivity and less stress during sex, CBD oils could be your new plus one in the bedroom.
for more pleasure:
indulge in their erotic spots
Do they like their collarbone kissed, their ears licked, their toes sucked, their nipples clamped, their balls tickled, their ass stroked? If they're shy about directing you, ask to watch how they touch themselves.
for more pleasure:
reveal in stages
We love lingerie pieces that deconstruct in one than one step. Take our Double Entendre Bustier with zip-off cups. First one, then the second, then the entire piece. It's up to you to decide how long passes between steps. We say make it insanely, relentlessly long.
for more pleasure:
change up your dirty talk
New language can turn you and your lover on in new ways. Ask questions about what they like, compliment their body, how they touch you, how they make you feel. See how you can be more inspired by simply being in the moment and telling your partner what's happening in your body.
for more pleasure:
get loud(er)
Being loud in bed is not just sexy AF it can help you truly surrender and let go. Let yourself ride the waves of pleasure through your body and, yes, vocally to take orgasms to new heights.
for more pleasure:
break out the erotic massage
Learn some skills, add some massage candles and incorporate the art of sensual and erotic massage into your repertoire. You'll better learn what your partner likes and find more ways to extend pleasure for both of you.
for more pleasure:
kiss like you fuck
Like it's your first time. Like it's your life's purpose. Like their lips are the nectar of gods. Kissing is an art in itself and bringing it back with intensity and intention can be a delicious secret weapon in bed.
What other juicy ways to play help you find your pleasure?
