There's a reason sexologist, sex edu-tainer, rideologist and master of the lick game Goody Howard has been featured in top media outlets like InStyle, Shape and Cosmopolitan and is a regular speaker at key conferences like Sex Down South: Goody knows her shit. But what we love most is that she slings as much knowledge as she slings joy. Check out her site to catch her IRL, on the podcast circuit or in a 1-on-1 coaching session or grab a replay of her workshops like Lick, RIDEology, STROKEology and more to up your sex game in literally minutes. We've got our eye on her Play Date workshop that highlights the newest sex toys with games, prizes + some X-rated Q+A. In the meantime, she gave us some precious time on her calendar for some of our own sexy questions...
I really loved your post about not being competitive with other sexologists and acknowledging that you all bring something different to the table. What’s signature Goody that makes you proud of your work and impact?
Goody Howard: I think people associate me with actionable, practical teaching tips. I take high-level sexuality concepts and break them down into snackable pieces for the masses. I also think that “science & ho shit” is unique to me and my brand as well because I use science to explain pleasure.
One thing I love about you is that you always seem to have a real joy and playfulness and shine, and I’m wondering 1) how we get that and 2) how does that impact your sex life, sex POV, sexual pleasure?
Goody Howard:I appreciate that. I actually really enjoy my work and I get joy from knowing that other people are going to be able to connect to their pleasure with confidence. I think other people can find joy and playfulness when it comes to sex and pleasure if they just stop making it such a hush-hush topic, and appreciate that it doesn't have to be serious all the time. When was the last time you enjoyed something serious? My work and the joy that I bring to it show up in my pleasure because I'm so connected to the nonsexual pleasure of life that when it's time to get sexual I enjoy it so much more thoroughly than I think most people do.
Love your penis genius T. What’s it take to reach Goody-approved penis genius level? (Bonus points for a vulva genius tip ;)
Goody Howard: I think that a penis genius is someone that appreciates the anatomy and pleasure points in the penis as well as getting their own pleasure from accessing them. Let's say if you haven't reached orgasm from performing oral sex your life is incomplete. Penis geniuses have complete lives, lol, and that's really for all genitals, penis genius was just the catchiest one on a T-shirt. Although, be on the lookout for the VAGENIUS shirts coming out soon!
I know you love your toys — what are some ways we could be using them more, better, differently?
: As soon as we embrace pleasure tools as collaborators and not competition, the world will be a better place. All clit-sucking toys are also nipple toys and everyone has nipples! Sex toys don't have a gender or orientation, so getting creative and figuring out new ways to use pleasure tech on different body parts is one of my favorite hobbies! I think more people should explore. Also using lubricant! Lubricant is life!
What are some of the biggest aha’s that people take away from your Rideology class?
Goody Howard: People are usually amazed that a simple shift of the hips or moving your foot forward can change the way your weight is distributed on top of your partner. That simple shift can make you more confident being on top because you don't feel like you're crushing them! It's also much more comfortable in your body so you can stay on top for longer.
Your lick game is fire (you’ve got workshops for vulvas and penises…), what’s the key to being a good licker? What separates the meh from the holy-shit-what-was-that experiences?
Thank you very much! I think the biggest thing that separates a mediocre head game from a spectacular one is confidence and enthusiasm. The goal of oral sex is to make your partner feel delicious! My oral sex workshops position the person performing oral sex as the star of the show. It's not about satisfying your partner, it's about connecting to the pleasure you get from bringing pleasure to your partner. Oral sex is performance art, and performances need soundtracks! Choosing the right playlist will give you a rhythm to perform to help regulate breathing and take you out of your head when it comes to what move you should be doing next.
You’ve said there are 18 types of orgasms… say we’re down to make a 2023 checklist and tick them off, what should know before starting?
There are actually more than 18 different kinds of orgasms. Before you start checking off the list, understand that all bodies cannot achieve all orgasms. Some are uniquely for penises and some are uniquely for vulvas and vaginas. Use lubricant, take your time, don't be afraid of sex toys to help you, change angles, change positions, change the time of day! Don't be afraid to explore your body and relax. The biggest suggestion I can make is to not put too much pressure on yourself to reach these orgasms. The pleasure you experience trying to find them is really where the money is!
For people who feel sexually stuck… whether it’s boredom, uncertainty about how to be more curious, afraid to push boundaries or rekindle a flame that’s gone out, how can we light ourselves back up?
Something as simple as changing up the time of day you have sex, where you have sex, the position you have sex in, or the lube you use can change the game and spark the fire again. The biggest point I want to make is that your pleasure scripts change as you grow and evolve just like your taste for food. What you used to like may not be what does it for you anymore. You have to explore new things to figure out where your new pleasure [lives]. Self-pleasure plays a huge role in identifying what you like and that makes it easier to communicate your desires to your partner. So if you're feeling stuck it's probably time to fuck the person you love most in the world… yourself!
What one thing we can do now to change our sex game tonight?
One thing you can do right now to change your sex game tonight is add five minutes to whatever your normal foreplay routine is. I'm willing to bet that is not long enough as it is right now. That will help the arousal cycle and make sure that the blood flow has had time to move through the body to create the erections (clitoral and penile) and wetness that we need for pleasurable sex. Also try cleaning your room and changing your sheets adds a layer to your pleasure that you probably didn't even expect. Adding music never hurts and a well-lit candle or linen spray is a great addition, too!