kinky ideas, sexy toys + bedroom tips for hotter foreplay

1. join them in a sex-free shower

The idea is to mentally lube them up for what's to come later. Wash their hair, their back, their legs, their chest. You can even help them with their post-shower lotion, but steer clear of orgasms.

2. give them permission to watch you dress

And make it painfully slow and indulgent. Slide on your sexiest lingerie and let them know what they have to look forward to later

3. taunt them with your lingerie 

Slip your skimpiest g-string in their pocket, hang your kinkiest bodysuit over the closet door… give them something visual to picture.

4. string them along

Have them sit and watch as you carefully unlace the silk ties on your boa high-waisted panties. Just as you’re about to undo the last tie, start tying them up again. Bonus points if your nails are painted fiery red or champagne pink.

5. set up your sex toy bar

Got sex toys on your mind? Display them where you (and your lover) can see them. Mentally review them throughout the day and imagine how you'll put them to work.

6. wear your bondage

Accessories can be soooo sexy. Especially when you accent your erogenous zones. Your throat? Wear a choker. Your thighs? Ties. Your wrists? Cuffs. Nothing powers you up for a video call like sporting a sexy pair of fuck-off heels out of camera view.

7. spice it up with a new personality

Add an element of mystery and intrigue with a wig (or any dress-up clothes or accessories). Surprise them and maybe even surprise yourself with what’s possible when given permission to re-imagine yourselves… and your relationship.

8. dirty talk their entire body head to toe

Who doesn't love some good, old-fashioned hyping up of your cock and/or pussy worship. To make foreplay last even longer, take time to celebrate all of their deliciousness head to toe. Compliment them, kiss them, savor them for as long as it takes for them to feel adored. Make sure to use your breath and tongue for more tease.

9. give them a foretaste

Ignite their taste buds and their imagination with some finger food that appeals to their senses. Texture, flavor, temperature… from frozen fruit cubes to oysters to avocado slices, let their fingers and their tongues do some pre-exploration and build up an appetite..

10. leave your scent around

Start foreplay early by spritzing your intentions in your lover’s space – the fragrance that drives them wild — they know what’s to come.

11. engage them in energy play

Not only will this slow your pace and better connect you to your lover, connecting your energy heightens intimacy and allows you to feel how where/how you focus changes sexual energy in your body.

12. slow down with breathwork

Syncing your breath with your lover’s can heighten intimacy and ease the pace before and during sex. One easy way to do this is to sit back to back, relax and let your breath naturally sync up.

13. switch up your routine

Work in some seemingly random activities throughout your sex sesh like a bubble bath, some erotica, a little porn, strip poker, happy hour… to stretch the playtime.

14. turn on a sexy playlist

And turn yourself on in the process. Set the mood with music that appeals to their sacral chakra and their heart chakra. Let them ride an emotional roller coaster of their favorites and yours to get their heart, mind and body in the most delicious state of flow.

15. take your foreplay to-go

What if your coffee run, boozy brunch, window shopping, afternoon stroll were actually foreplay? Hold hands, flirt, grab some ass, steal some PDA, whisper what you’ll do to them later. Get your mindset in the early and turn basic activities sexy.

16. add some breaks

Food, weed, cocktail, bathroom, new sex toys, new lingerie, mini massage… think 10- to 15-minutes to pause, slow down, switch up, fuel up, play…. The goal is to stay in the mood so this is not a phone, text or email break.

17. clear the slate

Sex begins where boundaries are melted and possibilities are limitless and pleasure is on the table. What if they could have anything they wanted? Ask what makes them feel good, what gives them pleasure, what turns them on, today, right now. Don’t assume you know. Start with a fresh plate and an open mind.

18. practice the art of the tease

Do a reverse lingerie reveal. Start with your clothes on and slowly strip down — so slow you could drag it on for hours. And make sure you leave your hat on… or your pasties. Cuz it’s all about the tease.

19. do a “lube tasting”

Instead of whiskey or wine flight, you’ll be sampling a variety of lubes, sex serums and arousal oils on your skin, on your/their cock/pussy, on your tongue. See what you love, what turns you on, what you leave in the guest room.

20. pretend you're sex toy testers

Lay out your kinkiest accessories, yummiest dildos and sexiest vibrators. Sample them, use the settings you haven’t tried yet, try new ways to use.

21. surprise them

Is there a toy, a fantasy, a role-play scenario, a kink they’ve wanted to try? Take an item off their sex bucket and explore it fully and deliciously.

22. bring back the make out session

One of the first things to fall off the pleasure map when relationships get comfortable is the unbridled, untamed, kiss-like-you-fuck makeout sesh. We say bring it back head on. Mix other body parts into the kiss fest.

23. deprive them

Edging is always a sexy way to torture, er, bring lovers to the edge of orgasm and back. See how long and how far you can go, switch up sex toys for your mouth, tongue, hands, feet.

24. play play play

Pleasure and play can go hand in hand in… let yourself go!

25. send them on a sex toy hunt

Hide sex toys, lubes, cock rings, dildos, whatever is on the menu. Stash it wherever you'd like to play — yes, even on your body. What they find, where they find it, and what you do with it when they find it is up to you.

26. spend the day naked

Or at least decorated in your most delicious lingerie. Allow yourselves to visually tease each all day and only give in when foreplay “officially” starts.

27. break out your sex bucket list

If you and your partner have a wishlist, vision board or some other sexy to-do list, choose an item off the list try.

28. take a kinky workshop 

Love that commitment to learning new skills — and so will your partner or lovers. If you're too shy for an in-person setting, see what you can find online to boost skills from shibari and impact play to massage techniques and oral tips.

29. date night? book a private session 

Think of it like booking a cooking class together but this time you'll be learning a new kind of recipe. Take your new techniques home to practice, practice, practice.