questions to ask in bed for yummier sex

If you're a human (or AI, we suppose) you're constantly growing, evolving, changing and that includes what you like, don't like, what you used to love now you hate, what you didn't like this morning but on second thought it actually sounds good.... That's why sexy questions are key. Especially when it comes to intimacy and consent. In the spirit of ever-changing wants, needs, moods and moments, we've created a list of some things to ask new lovers to get to know them, long-time lovers to check in on their needs right now and even yourself to get a pulse-check on new curiosities, passions and more.


Of course, you don't need to ask all of these every time, but it's always important to get consent with partners no matter how much fucking you do with them. They (and you) reserve the right to change their wants, needs and desires in the moment.


Remember, we're not you, so take these sexy questions below as inspo and put them into whatever language feels more on brand for you, tailor them to your relationship, skill level, etc., and add ones that feel right for you. It's all in the delivery. P.S. We're putting the kinky questions to ask in bed a separate post. Hang tight.

sexy questions to ask first

1. What are your hard no’s? What are your yesses? 

2. What sex positions do you love the most? Which ones don't work for you or your body?

3. How do you feel about eye contact during sex?

4. What type of space, lighting, music gets you in the mood or the moment?

5. How will you tell me you love something... or don't?

6. What props, toys or furniture do you/would love to use?

sexy woman in panties

touching, kissing, foreplay

7. How do you like to be touched — gentle, firm — what strokes  or motions feel yummiest?

8. Where do you like to be touched the most and what kind of pressure or strokes turn you on and get you off?

9. Where do you not like to be touched, ever?

10. What do you most like to be touched with — skin, fingers, feathers, whips, etc.?

11. How do you like to be kissed? (Soft, hard, tempo, tongue, bites, etc.)

12. Where do you like to be kissed?

13. What types of foreplay rev you up?

14. How long do you like foreplay to last?

15. What types of porn do you like to watch? What's on your "will not watch" list?

16. Do you like nipple play, and if so, how do you like your nipples touched or stimulated?

17. What nipple toys do you like? Or do you prefer the feel of fingers, tongues, lips or skin?

naked woman touching skin

nipples, sex toys + impact play

16. Do you like nipple play, and if so, how do you like your nipples touched or stimulated? Are you open to playing with mine?

17. What nipple toys do you like? Or do you prefer the feel of fingers, tongues, lips or skin?

18. What sex toys do you use to masturbate?

19. Would you like me to watch you masturbate? Or would you like us to masturbate together?

20. What sex toys do you use during sex?

21. Would you like to try and/or buy new sex toys together?

22. What type of toys do you prefer…. vibrating, non-vibrating, stainless steel, crystal…?

23. What new sex toys are on your radar to try?

24. How would you feel about me surprising you with a sex toy?

25. Do you like impact play (flogging, spanking, etc.)?

26. Do you like giving or receiving or both?

27. What types of tools (floggers, whips, hands...) and sensations (thud vs sting) do you prefer?

sexy woman in bodysuit
save to your date night ideas board

dirty talk, role play, temperature play

28. Do you like dirty talk? Giving or receiving?

29. What words, phrases or tons of voice really turn you on?

30. Do you like to role play?

31. What role or roles do you love playing?  

32. What role would you like me to play?

33. What have you never tried that you’re longing to try?

34. What have you never tried that you’re too afraid to ask for?

35. Do you like cold (say, an ice cube) or heat (warm chocolate sauce, anyone?) on your skin? What parts of your body do you most like to feel cool or warm sensations?

36. Do you like your sex toys cooled or heated before you use them?


lingerie + booty play

37. What lingerie do you like to wear during erotic play?

38. What is your lingerie style?

39. Would you like me to surprise you with lingerie I find gorgeous?

40. Would you like to surprise me with pieces you find gorgeous?

41. What lingerie, sexy outfits or accessories can I wear to turn you on?

42. Do you like to strip down slowly, start skin on skin or would you like me to undress you?

43. What lingerie pieces are on your “be gentle” list?

44. What lingerie makes you feel naughtiest?

45. Do you want me to rip or tear your lingerie? If so, which pieces?

46. Do you like to wear heels, wigs or other playthings during sex? 

47. Do you enjoy anal sex?

48. What anal sex toys do you like?

49. What anal play would you like to experiment with?

50. Are you into pegging?

51. Do you like giving or receiving rimming?

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save to your inspiration board

orgasms, pleasure, pain, other play

52. How often do you like to have sex?

53. Do you prefer morning, night, middle-of-the-night or mid-day sex?

54. Are you into phone sex?

55. Do you like sexting?

56. What types of oral sex do you like? 

57. Do you like giving and/or receiving oral sex?

58. What would you love me to during oral sex?

59. Do you like to take the lead or do you like when I do?

60. Do you like to be taken by surprise, or do you like to be in control?

61. Do you like to be restrained?

62. Do you like pleasure, pain or a mixture of both — and what does that look like for you?

63. Do you/would you like to be blindfolded?

64. What sex positions bring you to orgasm or feel the best in your body?

65. What types of orgasms do you enjoy… clit, g-spot, cervical, p-spot, anal…?

66. What orgasms do you want to try together?

67. Would you like to orgasm every time?

68. What types or brands of lube do you like?

69. What after care is important to you — talking, sharing, cuddling, showering...?

sexy woman in bodysuit

What questions do you like to be asked in bed when you check in with new lovers and old to find out more of what they want and need in the moment? Comment below...

xxx, Lunatic Femme

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