up your mental foreplay game w/ these tips (hint: think early + often)

discover the eroticism in your voice 

Can you slow down? Can you fondle a word? Can you enunciate like you're wrapping your lips and tongue around every letter, every syllable, every breath? Gulp. Try it. And don't wait for "sexy time"... create sexy time early with your voice hours before the actual event.

harness the visual power of suggestion 

Show them what you’re going to do with (or without) them in deliciously specific detail. Send a pic of what you’ll be wearing. Make it more delicious by incorporating a new fantasy and they have a starring role.

use your words

Notes on mirror (take pic and send).... Old-school handwritten note in a messenger bag, cross-body or briefcase. Leave them, and you, drips and dribbles of what you’re thinking about, what you’re planning, what you want. We bet you’ll get it. 

leverage Mother’s Nature’s most suggestive foods 

Fruit, oysters… think juicy things that look, taste like you want to ravish them. Oh, and they look like pussy. Pepper your conversation with words that describe them, like ripe, juicy, succulent. 

choose your lingerie consciously that day

Describe not just what it is, how it looks, but how it makes you feel. How it moves against your skin. How it feels on your body. Soft, silky, tight, pinchy, squeezy, flowy, cinched, exposed, raw...

mark your territory 

Harness the power of scent by leaving traces of your scent everywhere for them to find… also indulge in your partner’s scent, favorite fragrance.  

move your hips 

There’s something super-Kundalini-y about firing up that pelvic energy and using its power for good. Turn on your favorite lusty tracks and give your hips time to grind throughout the day — maybe every time you fill your water bottle ;). It keeps the energetic, mental and physical juices flowing, which is precisely what you want.

leave little traces of foreplay 

Signs, signs, everywhere signs... Drop a sex toy in their gym bag, leave your favorite dildo in the fruit bowl, position that jumbo bottle of lube next to their toothbrush or hang your most luscious, fuck-off lingerie right where they can see it. 

talk it out

Helping your partner find their erotic voice helps you both get into that mental foreplay zone. Encourage them to tell you what they’re going to do to you later. Give them an erotic zone and let them play. Your foot. Your thigh. Your belly. Your neck. Train them to speak to one part of your body at a time…. So they’ll learn to explore your body one little piece at a time... 

create an experience 

Think outside the “missionary style in bed with the lights out” routine. Create a fuck bed on your kitchen floor. Toss a sheepskin blanket on the dining table, rethink your laundry room, line your hallway in candles. Use energy play as mental foreplay.   

play in your fridge

Mental foreplay, but make it food. Sit on the floor, open the door, tell your partner what you’re taking out. Whipped cream? Basket of berries? Chocolate sauce? Jar of pickles? Champagne? Tell them what you’re hungry for, how you like to taste it, if it drips and dribbles… They'll get the point.

start the ambiance early

Candles, fragrance, incense, bodysuits, finger foods. Whatever gets your brain and body in that carnivorous state, bring it. Seducing yourself first is almost the best part of creating juicier, yummier mental foreplay.

pair weed with your mental play

Sex and weed aren't just amazing at boosting your mental foreplay (think of them like the ultimate wingperson), cannabis helps lower inhibitions, increase circulation (and arousal) so you're mentally and physically juicier and primed for play. Maybe you deliver your partner a batch of weed cookies, (consensually) spike their coffee with catnip or craft a foreplay cocktail for magic hour.

meditate

Get into the mood by reducing stress and putting you both in the moment. If you think that chanting "om" with your lover isn't hot, try using a sexy, sensual playlist that lights your fire, moves your body and gets you in that mental foreplay zone. If you're more the physical type, try moving meditation like yoga. Better yet, do it naked.

invite them to the mental foreplay party... 

Double down on the tempting and teasing by asking your partner for what you want... a description of what they'll be wearing, a dirty text when they're ready to leave work, a sex toy they want you have on hand...