why is everyone dropping their panties for sex expert + disruptor rosie rees?

Sex educator, intimacy coach and sex toy entrepreneur Rosie Rees hasn't met a myth she can't disrupt. From her splash blankets, crystal dildos and glass wands to her naked yoga practice, #stopsuckingitin mantra and sensual eating movement, this self-proclaimed Yoni Queen has vagina owners everywhere dropping their panties and rediscovering self-pleasure — and finding self-acceptance for the first time. In addition to running a full coaching practice, she's founded sex toy company Yoni Pleasure Palace, created a comprehensive online Squirt School and set her sights on disrupting many of the myths that keep women on the sidelines of their own pleasure. We were lucky enough to nab a spot on her calendar and some amazing tips on reaching our full orgasmic potential. 

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Rosie Rees 📸: rosierees.com

Let's talk toys. You traded in your vibrator for a wand and you've since created an entire line of these amazing crystal and glass wands — what can women expect when they make that same trade off for themselves?

Rosie Rees I guess the first thing that I discovered because I had been pretty addicted to my vibrator for maybe five-plus years and I knew exactly what I liked, and how much pressure, and how long I needed it, and it got me from A to B. It's great for that kind of what I call a "genital sneeze," that quick fix kind of orgasm, but when I went off it, when I discovered the jade egg and started to do some crystal sexual healing, I just literally did not feel like using a vibrator anymore after using a jade egg. And so I started getting these toys designed and I wanted to slow down my self-pleasure practice. I just wanted to feel again and I wanted to have internal pleasure, internal sensation, which the egg had really helped to stimulate and activate more nerve endings, and more muscle tone, and more blood flow to the actual vagina, and so using a pleasure wand, whether it's crystal or glass, I started with the rose quartz... it's nice because it's not too complicated. It's straight, it has a tapered end and a thicker end, so you can start with the thinner end. And I feel like you can expect to feel more connected, you can feel more emotion because it's not used in the same way as a vibrator. It's like you're going within literally physically, but also it does bring up stuff from within because it is a crystal, it's amplifies, you can program it with an intention of what you want to let go, or what you want to bring in, it's just more internal sensation.

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So do you think when you switch out the type of crystals or the glass, you can tell a difference in how the wand works for you?

Rosie Rees Totally, yeah. The crystal is a lot more dense. It's a lot heavier. I feel as though it has an energy. Some people feel that, some people don't and there's no right or wrong, but I definitely feel a difference when I use something from Mother Earth versus something that's man-made. Like after I use, let's say, the rose quartz wand, inside my vagina feels softer and smoother. It feels like it's almost massaged a lot of tension and pockets of numbness and pain away. Whereas if I use a glass crystal one, I'm like, "I want to squirt and this is how I'm going to do it."

It's goal-oriented...

Rosie Rees A little bit more, yes definitely.

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Rose-Quartz Crystal Wand @ yonipleasurepalace.com 📸: rosierees.com 

And you brought up emotions... we feel so many different things at different times so it's interesting to know that a crystal can adapt with whatever you're feeling.

Rosie Rees Yeah, I think so and if women come to me and they say, I've got some sexual trauma and I would love to use the rose quartz, I would usually not recommend it because it's such an amplifying crystal, but something like the black obsidian curved wand is just beautiful. Because black obsidian is a volcanic stone, it helps to release negative energy or toxic energy. It's protective, it's grounding and it's clearing, so you'd want to use this first, even though it's nowhere near as pretty, but it's powerful. I've used this before many times when I first started and you do feel a release. I used to cry a lot during masturbation just to move the energy out of my body because I feel like it does get stored, in particular, if you've had abuse, or assault, or even a surgery, an abortion, a miscarriage in that space in the body. The vagina, what it does, it just clings on. It holds a lot of memories and imprints, and so when we're using something smooth, and if there's something that you can feel has an energy, it does help to move those pockets of energy out of the vagina. And one in three women have had sexual abuse. Trauma can really present itself in the vagina as painful sex, low libido, dryness, inability to orgasm, just pockets of pain inside that just don't make sense. It's so many different ways it presents, but for me when I started using these wands it stopped, it all left my body, I don't have any of that anymore.

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You've created a comprehensive online squirt school, which is so amazing, what are some of the biggest learnings, or aha moments, people have gotten?

Rosie Rees I think it's interesting because sometimes it's a technique thing and other times it's a healing. So in squirt school it's not just, "Here, this is how you do it and then you can squirt." Because there're certain things like I said, if you have a lot of trauma or stored memories inside the vagina, you're not going to squirt. If you haven't connected with her, if you feel disconnected from the belly button down and you haven't really given your pussy any love and attention, she's not just going to squirt. She has a mind of her own and she has a voice of her own as well and so when we do certain things, like a yoni egg practice or I've got three or four healing meditations in squirt school, you wouldn't think it's healing, you think it's all about squirting. It's actually healing as well to create space for there to be an ejaculation, or for there to be a G-spot orgasm, we don't always squirt from a G-spot orgasm. I think people are a little bit surprised that they actually go on a bit of a healing journey in releasing things that they didn't really even know they were holding, and on the other side they realize, "Okay, I need to do this technique and from this position and okay, it needs to be a little bit more manual stimulation rather than maybe a penis, for example."

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You made a good point, too, when we started, in saying how you'd opened up more time for self-pleasure. For many of us, it's like this run-and-gun situation because we're stressed out and there's no time, so it's good to know with more exploration, there's a different end game in sight.

Rosie Rees Yeah, absolutely. I think it's just normalizing time, taking a longer time in the bedroom and having it not just be about penis in vagina penetration because a lot of this magic happens from toys or from fingers.

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So then if we're opening ourselves up to G-spot orgasms and female ejaculation, how does that help your life overall become juicier and more orgasmic?

Rosie Rees Oh my God. The other night, I was so gushy and squirting and it came out of nowhere... This is the thing, it's such a mysterious thing because there'll be some weeks, months that I don't squirt at all, and then all of a sudden it's like on, and I think it has to do with different times of the month, and also how hydrated you are, and where you're at with your partner, if it's your partner doing it to you. I can make myself squirt every time during masturbation, but with a partner, it is very psychosexual, there's always a connection with your partner that either promotes squirting, or if there's any heart blockages, or any resentment, or you haven't talked about something, you're not going to squirt.

"Your libido's a barometer for your life, and if you have a low libido or no sex drive, it's really important to inquire, and have a chat to your vagina, have a chat to your yoni and be like, 'What's going on? What are you feeling? What do you need? What do you fear? What do you desire?'" — Rosie Rees

Like the other night, I had such a squirt fest and I felt like I released so much, but also I felt so connected to my partner, and then we felt more in sync, so that was one beautiful aspect. I just felt more euphoria and elation and just felt more joyful. Like literally when you stimulate the G-spot, it does help to activate more of those endorphins and happy chemicals in the body — orgasms in general do that as well — and it's also a release of not just squirt, but there's reflexology points inside the vagina as well, so you can feel releases of other kinds as well, but you just walk different, you talk different, you move different, you just feel more juicy and alive. You feel more creative as well, like anytime you're doing a lot of sacral chakra stuff, or self-pleasure in general, you are going to be stimulating more creative energy in your body because you are literally moving stuff around in the womb space in the vagina, so you start to feel more creative, definitely. You just feel clearer and you've got more creative ideas and inspiration causing through your body.

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I didn't realize there were actually reflexology points inside the vagina, so that's really amazing and another proof point of why we should be taking more time to have that pleasure.

Rosie Rees Absolutely, and you'll feel like when your partner's doing a yoni massage on you and they press on certain spots, you might feel your digestive system move a little bit. Or you might feel, particularly around the cervix which is related to the heart space, a bit of an emotion, or you might feel like you want to cry and that's all very, very normal and very common.

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rosie rees' @splashblanket 📸: @wildwarmthfoto 

Pivoting to your line of splash aka "squirt" blankets, why did you create them, and why are they so much more than a catch-all for ejaculation?

Rosie Rees Yeah, totally. I designed and created these in 2020. I've been with my partner for a year and my partner's a female and she now identifies as they, so they were squirting a lot and I was changing the sheets a lot, so we went to Kmart and bought just these cheap, waterproof blankets for kids' beds, and they were crispy and you could hear the plastic, and I was like, 'These are disgusting, I don't feel like making love and having this beautiful experience on this disgusting waterproof blanket.' But it did the job, and so I just went to market and started shopping around and started looking, and there was literally nothing. There was one on the market for like $300 and at the time I was like, "No, that doesn't feel right for me."

I wanted to create something that was plush and luxurious and not just for squirt, just for sex or self-pleasure. Although that was the initial intention, but when I started to sell them through Yoni Pleasure Palace, mums started buying them for free nappy time for their babies and pet owners like dogs and cat owners would buy them for their animals because like dogs will just steal your blanket. They love the texture and the feeling of it and cats are just always like pawing on it, and even some really beautiful stories have come through from pet owners who their animal is on, like they're about to pass away and they're incontinent, and so they use them for that.

The elderly started using them in hospitals for incontinence. It's great for training your toddler at nighttime, you can put that down on the bed, but also a lot of people use them for warmth because they're waterproof, they're so warm, they contain the heat, and then free bleeding. We have free bleeding blankets as well, so a lot of women love to shed without wearing underwear or without wearing a tampon or a menstrual cup and just let the bleed come out, which is beautiful. But the main one is yes, squirting. That was my initial intention, but I just couldn't believe how many diverse ways people can use it.

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Because there's more freedom, do women squirt more, or bigger, or differently knowing that they don't have to be embarrassed or ruin their bedding or furniture?

Rosie Rees Yeah, totally. I call it a psychological sex toy because it is. You literally feel like you can let go because a lot of us have this wiring in our mind from our parents usually, to not wet the bed and to not make a mess on the bed, and it's really annoying and inconvenient, and actually that shuts us down later in life as adults, and even though we're not weeing the bed, you unconsciously just shut it off because you don't want to ruin the bed, you don't want to ruin the mattress.

When you have it beneath you, it's like a mental checklist like, "I'm not going to ruin the bed, I'm not going to have to wash the sheets, I can just throw this in the washer afterwards." It's a security kind of psychological thing for sure, and a lot of women say, 'I've never squirted before.' And I tell them, "Just get the blanket and see how you go, trust me." And they do, they come back and go, "I squirted for the first time." And as I know for sure it's because of the mental feeling that you can let the floodgates open.

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Sacred Squirter, YoniPleasurePalace.com

If someone wants to prep for your Squirt School or just explore on their own… what’s the best way to start experimenting… what wand, dildo and/or technique is a good place to start?

Rosie Rees Yeah, I would usually suggest something like our Sacred Squirter, so it's very curved and bumpy and quite wide as well, but having that stimulation up on the G-spot, you do need that, and sometimes our fingers can't reach the spots, or maybe we've got really small fingers like I do, it's nice to have something like this. If you have a much longer vagina, the Cervix Serpent is another one I designed. It's still nice and big, which I think is useful for the G-spot, to have it stimulated and help to get that space in the vagina engorged, but you've got a handle because vaginas range in length from six centimeters to 16 centimeters. It's nice to be able to put that in the vagina and have this side as a handle because I've heard a lot of people saying, "Oh, this might not quite be big enough." Even though the G-spot's only usually an inch or two inside, so you don't need to go very deep anyway. This is also nice for cervical stimulation as well, and you can change direction to change the sides and press on the cervix and different spots inside the vagina.

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With your coaching practice, squirt school and nude yoga workshops, what are some of the biggest myths about sex you like to debunk?

Rosie Rees That it has to be penis and vagina for sure. I mean, I've had the best sex of my life since being with a vagina owner, so that is a big one and that it takes five minutes. I talk a lot on my Instagram about, that women, or vagina owners need at least sometimes 45 minutes-plus to fully get in the zone, and get aroused, and to get to the place of potential orgasm, so the time factor, that you don't need a penis... that was a really hard one, getting into a relationship with a woman. I was like, "This is very hard, is it going to work?" But it's such a myth. 

"I can make myself squirt every time during masturbation, but with a partner, it is very psychosexual, there's always a connection with your partner that either promotes squirting, or if there's any heart blockages, or any resentment, or you haven't talked about something, you're not going to squirt." — Rosie Rees

I think it's also really important to normalize making pleasure sounds, but they don't have to be moaning. Sometimes the more we release authentic sound in whatever way, whether that's growling or just making anything that wants to come through, can actually deepen the orgasm as well, so stimulating the vagus nerve, which is going to help to stimulate more blood flow to the vagina and the cervix, but also have a deeper orgasm, so I think making lots of sound, but you don't have to sound like a porn staff, if that makes sense.

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You run multiple businesses and have a family, how do you keep your libido (and creativity) charged… and why is it important?

Rosie Rees Well, I don't always keep them high. I think that we are very cyclical and we're really affected by other events in our life, so generally it's high, but then if something happens, I do have a dip. And I had a dip at the start of this year for about a month or two, and I think it's really normal and healthy. If you're going through some grief or anything like that, it can be depleted, but I always know that if my libido's off or low, what else is going on. Your libido's a barometer for your life, and if you have a low libido or no sex drive, it's really important to inquire, and have a chat to your vagina, have a chat to your yoni and be like, "What's going on? What are you feeling? What do you need? What do you fear? What do you desire?"

I do that a lot in my workshops as well, I get them to communicate to their vaginas and it'll come out. Recently I had a feeling like our sex life was a little bit too goal-focused on the orgasm. And I said, "I just want us to connect more at the heart and at the mouth." And that's what my yoni needs. She doesn't need another orgasm, she just needs connection, and so really dropping into that communication with her and asking your vagina, "What are you feeling? What do you need?" Because she'll give you the clues. She always tells you. I think a lot of people just shrug off low libido or especially females like, oh, it's normal for a woman to have lower libido than a man or whatever.

"Sometimes the more we release authentic sound in whatever way, whether that's growling or just making anything that wants to come through, can actually deepen the orgasm as well, so stimulating the vagus nerve, which is going to help to stimulate more blood flow to the vagina and the cervix, but also have a deeper orgasm..." — Rosie Rees

But no, it's a clue as to what she needs and what she feels, and of course like the higher your sex drive and your libido, the higher your creativity is going to be as well. I had a full-on dip in my creative energy. Like, it was just dry. And so there is a definite link correlation between your connection to that space in your body and your ability to paint or write. I've started writing again and things like that start to bubble back up to the surface.

So when your libido is flowing, everything else is flowing

Rosie Rees 100%.

Yeah, I've never heard of speaking to your yoni in that way, but learning to cultivate that muscle, so to speak, makes a lot of sense—

Rosie Rees Oh definitely, yeah. The yoni has such a loud voice really when we tune in, she communicates to her microbiome, her dryness, or wetness, her orgasms, even thrush or bacterial vaginosis, vaginismus, vulvodynia, all these conditions, endo, polycystic ovaries, it's all just a way of saying, "Hello, give me some attention. I need to talk to you." I used to get UTIs all the time in my early 20s, when I was sleeping around, just looking for love, but just sleeping with the wrong people and literally my urethra would just be on fire, and I never got it until years later. I just take antibiotics and just, "Oh, I don't know why that's happening." Because you're not honoring yourself, Rosie. It was such a loud and clear sign, but I didn't see it at the time, and this is why this is stuff that we should be teaching our daughters and sons, about the psychology of the genitals. We are psychosomatic beings within inner erotic intelligence. 

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Similarly, with running so much and also, having read about some of the personal challenges your family has experienced), how do you keep your mindset positive, alive, juicy, hedonistic?

Rosie Rees Well, I try to share both sides, the not-so-good days and the good days, and I think that's why my following really engage well with me because they know that they're not just getting the sugar-coated positive highlight reel, but I do drop in and share when I'm not okay. Last year was the hardest year of my life, I think with my partner Ash getting MS and Transverse Myelitis and losing sensation in their legs. Luckily, they got their right leg sensation back, but they can walk and they got out of a wheelchair and it was just a huge shock. I think this year that's where everything crashed for me because I was actually in caring mode last year and looking-after-Ash mode and still running my business and probably throwing myself even into my business to distract, I guess.

And then this year I was like, "Actually, that's not working for me anymore, I need a break." I take time off social media now. I got quite addicted to it, and I was on it all the time, and actually that was starting to cause migraines. Again, I just started listening to my body and going, "Okay, I'm listening and I will change things because this is not working." I think it's just like you said, pivoting when you need to, and listening to the body and now I really don't get on Instagram unless I absolutely need to, and since I've gone off social media more, I've had more creative energy and more presence and I have more to give. I think it's important to have that balance.

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You’re known for pushing buttons and disrupting stigmas, what are the stigmas, taboos, myths you’re going after next? 

Rosie Rees Oh, that's a good one. Yeah, I've done this stop sucking in, sensual eating, sex toys, squirt blankets, "What next?" Well, I'm currently filming a naked awakening facilitator training, so I'm teaching females how to teach nude yoga. I think that's something I just want everywhere all over the world, the naked awakening structure for that, so that's something I'm bringing through. I really want to run a training for our affiliates. We've got thousands of affiliates all over the world, to give them a really fantastic training on the crystal ones yoni eggs, all of that stuff, so they can train their communities, or teach their communities.

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With all that you’re doing with self-acceptance, self-pleasure and de-stigmatizing, what are the one or two mindset shifts we can make today to help us live a juicier, sexier, happier life? 

Rosie Rees Yeah, so the first one is I've stepped away from the buzzword of self-love and I really believe we do want to love ourselves, it really starts with accepting ourselves fully as we are, and coming into more of a space of neutrality around our body, and that's something that I've really had to do over the past two years. I've put on 15 kilos over Covid, and I really had to implement my teachings even more so, doing a lot of mirror work and loving my curves and my new shape and my body. This is where my body wants to be, and I've come into this beautiful place of acceptance of my body. It feels a lot more achievable to accept. When we accept, it leads to loving and embracing, but just start back here over acceptance and coming into that space, and that definitely helps. And doing lots of mirror work, looking in the mirror and looking into your eyes in the mirror, the first thing you do. A lot of people just look into the mirror and look at the thing that they really don't like about their bodies, but if you look into your eyes and take three breaths with yourself every day if you can first thing in the morning, that can really start to shift things as well because you're looking into your soul, you're looking into not just this human body, but this soul self as well.

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For self-pleasure, I don't want anyone to think that using vibrators are bad, or that having those quickie orgasms are not healthy, or anything like that. I think it's good to have a balance, but to really see if you can at least once a week carve out an hour at least to just worship your body and maybe that's having a hot bath and then laying down a squirt blanket and looking at yourself sitting down in front of the mirror, and massaging the breasts, massaging your belly, your vulva, and then going into a self-pleasure practice using breath, using sound, using movement, light a candle, set an intention, like actually create a really beautiful love-making space for yourself. At least once a week, I think would be a really beautiful, achievable goal. And not necessarily to have the goal of an orgasm, but just to connect with your body in a sensual way and connect to your vulva, connect to your vagina.

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Diva pleasure wand @ yonipleasurepalace.com 📸 @hi.renae

You'll become a better lover for your partner. You become more juicy and creative. You will tap into that resource within you, but if you just keep going for that quick fix vibrator on the clitoris, get that shit done to fall asleep, that's actually not reaching your full potential. It feels good and you don't have to stop doing that, but just to give yourself a more fully encompassing experience to just connect yourself deeper. I think that can change the game with your orgasmic experience, your experience with your partner or lover, and also within business as well, like whenever you are connecting deeper with yourself, particularly sexually your business abundance, well, all of that will start to thrive.

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