single on valentine's day? try these kinky, sexy things to do solo

You (obviously) don't need a lover to celebrate your sexiest, yummiest, most lustful Valentine's Day yet, but you might still need some inspiration. Here we've rounded up kinky, playful, creatives ways to inspire not just your day but your 2024 with better sex, stronger intimacy, greater connection to your turn ons, deeper understanding of your body and lustier, yummier, orgasmic night (and year). 


Check out this list solo things to do and use them as your muse. If you're already pro level at loving yourself consider these inspiration for new ways to dial up your play, curiosity and creativity. Happy cherishing yourself day!


create a visual library of lingerie

Explore new ways to wear your sultriest, most exquisite pieces by taking polaroids of them then mixing and matching different looks. Use them to inspire new ways to wear and keep them handy when you need a reminder to wear what makes you feel luscious. 

set up a sexy solo photo shoot for 1

Dim the lights, pick your lingerie, rock your best angles. Put those polaroids on your vision board, your sex bucket list, wherever you need a reminder that you're your own sexy AF muse.

create your sex bucket list

What experiences do you want to have this year in bed? What erotic adventures? Why type of new lovers? New romances? Are there toys you'd like to try, new positions, kinkier play? Start manifesting your desires by letting your imagination run wild.

role play like the sexy queen you are 

Want to juicier, hotter, more alive, more like someone in your fantasies? Dress the part. Not just sexy panties, go full sex club, sex party, burlesque. Think SCNTM, think Torture Garden, where you can’t get in the door unless you meet the dress code. Even if you don't leave the house, igniting the sexy queen you truly are is sexy any day of the year, not just Valentine's Day. The upside of having no lover around is the only one you're pleasing is you so play play play.

allow your mind to get creative + curious 

What's your perfect date night? Your perfect spa day? Your yummiest fantasies? What can you do on a sexy solo night in to get one step closer to giving yourself all the sensual TLC you can. Try something you wouldn't normally do to up-level your experience with yourself.

adorn your body in lace + gold

Think jewelry (or a bodysuit that includes 14k bling), think lace, think silk, whatever ignites you and reminds you that you're worth investing in. The only person you're dressing for tonight is you. Make it delicious.

experiment with new sensations

Wartenberg wheels, temperature play, different fabrics like silk versus leather. Discover more about what you like by playing with new or different sensations. Close your eyes and experience how toys, fabrics, temperatures feel against your skin, on different parts of your body, using different pressure. How does your breath change, your body stir, your mood shift?

discover new erotic ear candy

Spend the evening reading or listening to erotica, erotic podcasts or erotic readings. Read aloud to yourself as well and see how you can turn yourself on with your own voice. Listening to erotica might help you uncover new kinks, fantasies, desires to put on your bucket list this year.

seduce yourself all day

All the things you'd do for or receive from a lover, do for yourself. Send yourself the flowers, Journal all the dirty, yummy, naughty, sexy things you'd like to do in bed. Treat yourself to a new toy, new lingerie, new chocolates. Stir anticipation for a sexy dinner with yourself. 

dress in lingerie for your solo night in

Hang it up where you can see it all day and play with all the ways to style it, change it, layer it, strip it off. What fabrics or textures feel yummy? How does it help you stir your mood. How might you wear it on a solo date? A date with a lover?

wear your most fuck-off stilettos

Score a luxe pair of six- or seven-inch heels (they’re easy to find pretty much anywhere). Strut around on these towering beauties and notice how they ignite your walk, your body language, your language…. You're seducing yourself tonight and kicking off a new year of lust. Don't leave out your feet ;)

up-level your sex toys + sex closet

What’s that one sex toy, kinky accessory or play thing your body is craving? A crop? A fur boa? A leather flogger? Steely handcuffs? A silk leash? Play with it tonight. Practice how it feels. See what it stirs in you.

get naked. 

Get intimate with yourself by spending the evening sans clothes. From stargazing, cocktail crafting and downward dogging to reading your sexiest new novel. If full-frontal isn’t in your repertoire, going topless is a sexy gateway.

take an online sex workshop or class

Up-level your sex skills by learning more techniques... face sitting, blow jobs, cunnilingus, hand jobs, cock worship, pussy worship, mastering strap-ons, using floggers, shibari rope tying. What better-sex moves are on your sex bucket list? Book it.

obliterate your squirt blanket 

No squirt blanket? Get on it. Sex experts say that just knowing you're on one can help you surrender, let go and release all that pent-up sexual fire. And if you've already a sex blanket guru then put it to some new uses tonight.

use lingerie as power play.


Dress up in your sexiest, fiercest, yummiest looks and see how it feels to be Dominant. Using harnesses, bodysuits and bras as playthings and toys creates a new level of exploration just with yourself to see what you like.

rethink your masturbation game 

If you're in a rut when it comes to pleasuring yourself, how can you seduce yourself more? Are there new sex or masturbation positions you want to try? How does your body respond to the bliss of pressure, the delight in the squeeze and release of muscles, what other parts of your body ignite? 

take an erotic bath

If you into creating a spa night in, make it more erotic. Sensual oils, a hand-crafted cocktail, a new waterproof toy. Do you have luscious spa towels? A yummy, sexy candle? A massage candle? You're your lover tonight so take your time giving yourself the endless pleasure you deserve.

lap dance yourself

Embodied movement is one of the most deliciously erotic ways to stir yourself, feel more pleasure and intoxicate yourself with your own seductive power. Learn the music and the moves that make you feel the most alive and spend the evening lap dancing your entire damn house.

host a lingerie party

Invite your other solo or single friends and host a lingerie swap. Or, just have a sexy dinner party where the dress code is your yummiest, sexiest lingerie sets, lingerie outfits or your dopest glam. 

rock some lingerie dressing

Style your sexiest lingerie as outerwear and hit date night solo. Rocking your hottest looks solo can inspire new levels of freedom and confidence. 

kink up your masturbation.

Masturbation shouldn’t be a 3-minute sprint to a finish line. You and your body deserve as much if not more creativity, time, attention and deliciousness we’re conditioned to reserve for partners. Test drive your desires on yourself to explore curiosities or find new places to play.

book a sexy solo workout

Pole class, feminine movement, boxing, sensual yoga... again, it's just about moving your body and settling in to your yummy curves, sexy skin and erotic body.

make yourself dirty love notes

Sexy affirmations, naughty to do's, delicious ways to fuck yourself, juicy ways to stir your eroticism. Write them on slips of paper or in a journal. Lock them in a sexy box or drawer. Pull one today and then every day you need a reminder of your hotness, inspiration to arouse your senses or some creative fire for your down time.

score a yoni massage

Find a pro or take a class and DIY your own erotic massage experience.

Got your own kinky sexy things to do solo Valentine's Day ideas? Comment below

xxx, Lunatic Femme

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claire coghlan writer

claire coghlan

claire coghlan is an award-winning editor, author, speaker, ghostwriter + writer for New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Vanity Fair, Vogue, Forbes, InStyle, Women's Wear Daily and more.