try these 29 ways to score your RDA of pleasure every damn day
calling all pleasure junkies....
There’s an RDA for vitamins, minerals, fruits, vegetables… but none for the things that many of us love, lust after, covet, savor, indulge in [insert your vice here]. If happiness is a state of being we should all strive for, we say, get as much as humanly possible. In its most indulgent form. We’ve got some luscious, pleasure-inducing ideas to help you start squeezing the juice outta life.
1. activate your senses.
Touch, taste, smell, sight, sound (you probably didn’t need us to list them all, but hey, just trying to help). The fast track to pleasure comes from engaging in the moment with your body and surroundings. Maybe it’s the ocean breeze against your skin. Maybe it’s spotting the tiniest sliver of a star in the city skyline. Fresh cherries in season. A shag rug against your bare back. Half the fun is in experimenting.
2. use the power of suggestion.
Research has shown how strong the power of the mind is to shape how how we feel, how we rate experiences, how we judge outcomes and whether we attain success/failure (“whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right"). So why not use that mental strength for your pleasure? Anticipate a few moments of lusciousness throughout the day and watch your lens shift — and enjoyment rise — as you have yummy things to look forward to.
3. start an idea board.
You have to know what turns you on and up, ignites you, stirs you in order to stoke your fire. Whether it’s written or visual, start collecting new inspiration and commit to banging out at least one little just for you every day. Yeah, we know, there’s a little thing called “who has the time?” Good news is that it doesn’t (always) take million of dollars and minutes to shift into bliss.
4. slip on....
...some sexy lingerie, whatever that means to you. Garter belt, a blindfold, black lace bodysuit, tank, T, teddy, cincher, choker no pants. A cropped ZZ Top concert T you nabbed at a vintage store in Portland (either one). You do you. Then do you again.
5. trigger your pleasure receptors.
That sounds either insanely sexy or super freaky. Either way, it works. Harvard studies show that one of the easiest ways to up those feel-good hormones is to connect with people. Could be striking up a convo with someone new, taking an online sex workshop, texting a friend, reconnecting with someone you love. If you’re like, fvck it I don’t feel like talking, try savoring some dark chocolate and a shot of bourbon instead.
6. explore your body.
No mirrors, no judgment, no rush. Appreciate your curves, scars, skin, … bonus points for showing gratitude. If you find yourself criticizing a body part that’s less than “perfect” (in your eyes), decorate it, spoil it, massage it, indulge it. It’s gotten you this far and that enough is worth a little TLC.
in whatever you don’t get enough of… time, chocolate, compliments, beauty, art, red lipstick on Sunday mornings, flowers, whiskey, stilettos in a Zoom meeting, rolling in the sheets, the snooze button on repeat, that silk robe you’ve always wanted to feel sliding against your skin, your go-to vibrator, cake, vibrators and cake. You get the idea. The more you feast on what moves you, the more delicious life becomes.
...one thing you never had the guts, time or energy to do. It’s exhilarating to push your boundaries, especially when it comes to your pleasure. Just remember, keep it safe (and keep keep a safe word on deck). Also, maybe don't graffiti the word "fuck" onto anyone's window but your lovers' ;)
...yourself into doing something that’s on your bucket list. A dream, a goal, an in-the-moment dare. The more you push your boundaries, the more interesting, satisfying and fucking pleasurable life becomes. And if you seriously fuck it up, congrats, you’ve probably got a dope dinner party story.
10. treat your soul to the power of giving.
Nothing is more satisfying than lighting someone else up (studies show it lights you up too).... Doesn’t mean you have to go around giving BJs… but donating your time, energy, love, lust…. It can even be free. The power of a compliment to a stranger…
11. savor every bite.
Instead of just eating your meal, take your time with it….. Instead of picking it up with your fork, use your fingers. Feel it, the texture, the temperature. Does it melt with the warmth of your skin? Do you tear off a piece? Take a bite? Run through the sense...smell it, taste, what does it feel like… what does it feel like on your tongue. Maybe don’t do this at the bar… or maybe you do?
12. carve out time for pleasure.
No matter what’s on your To Do list today, make sure you are. Sit back, close your eyes, inhale deeply, exhale, sigh. You can feel good in as little as one minute. Got more time? Set the alarm, fire up your favorite sexy toy, rock your own socks off.
13. shift your mood.
Scientifically it takes seconds to shift from neg to positive…. Know what makes you happy…..sexy… alive… aggressive… Zen… and keep it at your fingertips for when you need it. Cue the kitten videos. And the pleasure zone.
14. break your personal daily orgasm record.
How you do it is up to you. Just get after it. (In case you’re wondering, yes, this is an example of the journey is just as important as the destination.)
15. make what's old new.
Studies show that creating newness is one key to happiness…. We’re all for rituals (Monday Mantras, Taco Tuesdays, Wednesday quickies….), but how can you change them up in order to spice up your life? How much pleasure can you add to make the math work for you?
16. stretch your body.
Get in on all the nooks and crannies. Revel in the spaces that feel good. Unlock stiffness and create little pockets of movements… You’ll increase circulation, improve flexibility and move heat to stagnant spots.
17. revamp your playlist.
If you’re still doing working, winning, playing, loving, lusting or fucking to the same playlists you were last year, spice it up. The act of discovering new music is a journey in itself, then playing them when you need a little excitement, a little oomph, some mojo, some magic is icing on the hot molten chocolate cake.
18. go down a rabbit hole.
Curiosity is one of those traits that can improve all sorts of things in your life from health and happiness to relationships and experiential richness. This can be as easy as deep-diving into new music, trying a random podcast, discovering different neighborhoods in your city on weekends or seeking out a sex-positive class or online sex workshop. A little knowledge can go a longgg way.
19. do nothing…
This also might be called meditating? Or it might not. The idea is to turn off your brain, your obligations, your stressors and focus on peacing out. Consider starting a ritual that lets your body know it’s cool to shut down for five, like lighting incense or playing a certain song or wrapping up in your fave robe. Then for the next X minutes, literally shut it down.
20. take a bath.
Ugh, another take a bath “tip.” (Sorry, it works! Bonus points if you add waterproof sex toys, a blindfold, several lovers, a swim-up champagne bar and pizza delivery. Remember, we're manifesting pleasure.)
21. discover pleasure in an everyday task.
Send that email wearing absolutely nothing. Prepare that meal wearing an apron and heels and nothing else (yes, even when you’re alone). Pay those bills listening to [insert your most romantic music here]. Walk or drive to the post office wearing your sexiest LBD and sneakers. It’s not so much the ‘how’ you do it, it’s whether you squeeze the juice out of every moment in the way that’s juiciest for you.
22. throw out what’s not good enough for you.
There are sooo many places to go with this, but we’ll stick with fashion. It’s so cathartic to start fresh especially with little things like new lipstick or panties. Begin by getting rid of things that don’t fit, are damaged beyond repair or don’t make you feel like a queen.
23. maximize all the days of the week.
Don’t save all the excitement for the weekend or else you’ve fucked over five days of the week. And, if you squander 5 days out of 7, that’s 5 years out of 7 if you extrapolate. No, you don’t have to pull an all-nighter on a Tuesday (props if you do), but just make sure whatever it is you do isn’t on autopilot and instead, it’s intentionally delicious and built around your favorite things. Because you deserve it.
24. tickle a new taste bud.
It doesn’t have to be extravagant, expensive or fancy to get you excited. Could be as simple as using a new salt, a new flavor of something you already love, a funky preparation.
25. fuck off.
That’s almost the same as ‘do nothing’ but do nothing has a peaceful serenity, this is more like, yeah, I know I’m supposed to be doing X, but fuck it, I’m doing Y.
26. read the directions…
...on your vibrator. And push the buttons you haven’t gotten to yet. Go ahead, push them again. And again. And again. Rinse and repeat for 20-ish minutes. Pour yourself a rare whiskey and sip that fucker, you earned it.
27. go outside.
Take off your shoes, put your feet on the earth. It’s not only grounding, it’s a little reminder that in the infinite cosmos, we are here, we can feel, we are alive. Also, wriggling toes in dirt feels damn good. Note: if you're in the city, sidewalks count.
28. dance under the moon.
Do you like star-gazing? Are you moved by the tides? While the sun rules our doing, the moon rules our being? If you want your life to be more pleasurable, connect with the planet that helps connect you to the flow…. aka where pleasure rises, falls, undulates, rocks.
29. turn an obstacle... into a titillating challenge.
Experts say to break big, overwhelming goals into small, bite-size steps so they seem less overwhelming. We say take it further by making them insanely pleasurable. Even sh*ttiest challenge, with virtually no upside, can be a little sweeter when you attach a delicious reward (or rewards) for your progress.
blow the dust off that sex bucket list.
When was the last time you added a new position, trick, technique or toy to your arsenal. Been eyeing some kink? Some dirty talk? Something naughty, pleasurable and unspeakable. Whatcha waiting for?
How do you get your RDA of pleasure? What do you do for joy, fun, play, me-time? Comment 👇💋