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sex + intimacy coach katie henricks is not fvcking around when it comes to pleasure
dial up the love, lust + intimacy with coach katie henricks
To know her is to be ignited by her. Katie Henricks, a self-described "sherpa of healthier relationships and intimacy" vibes so authentically high, you can't help but become electrically charged when you enter her orbit. Her straight-talk, no-bullshit attitude and raw vulnerability combined her deep understanding of the feminine frees you to do work with her, and ultimately, better re-connect with the lost or disconnected parts of you. We love this force of nature not just for relentless commitment to our growth (and her savage sex tips), but also because she's about as real as it fucking gets. Which means when you sign up for her coaching, workshops or retreats, you sign up for a real (delicious) change in you. (And that's kinda the point.)
We’ve talked about getting into that sexual, spiritual, creative flow state… what are some ways we can shift into that space if we’re feeling stuck?
Katie Henricks:
Such a wonderful question. First, let me say, this is one of the most popular questions I get from women. Let me take a moment to break down the "stuck" feeling. In our society, women have had to move almost exclusively in their masculine energy in order to survive. It's the hustle and grind, it's the checking boxes, scheduling, doing it all, trying to be in control of it all... even in our relationships... we've taken the role of the leader or the pursuer so much that we often take that roll away from the masculine. There is so much that goes into this but when I notice myself feeling "stuck", or I would say "exhausted and depleted", here are a few things that put me in my feminine essence almost immediately.
1. slow the fuck down
there is nowhere to go and nothing to do. I take control of my pace and slow my roll so that I can get present and start to feel and be in my body, right here, right now.
2. get into nature.
Go to the beach, take a literal hike, observe, get present and use my senses to take in mother nature around me.
3. self-pleasure
or I also call it "mindful masturbation". Spending time with my pussy is life. It's a way I connect back to myself, my desire, my essence and get into my state of pleasure and tranquility. If I'm able to reach orgasm during self-pleasure great, and if not, even better because it helps me gain insight into what's happening in my body, just like a meditation, I get to see some of the subtleties happening inside of my body.
4. dance/move
I absolutely love sensual movement, kundalini or non-linear movement. It helps me access my intuition while I move my body. It's a really beautiful way to be expressive and learn how my body feels good moving on my own terms. No one dictating what to do, it's just me, my body, emotions and connection to the music. This is also really healing because it allows our bodies an opportunity to process trauma, stuck emotion, and my own unique sexuality.
5. I love making my home
beautiful, luxurious and a total sanctuary. I'm really big on creating a home that is tight and delicious. Candles that I love, making my bed feel like a total luxurious experience, having my shower and bathroom organized and full of products that serve my health and well-being, having my spaces clean and purposeful are so so important to my mental health. This is the space I dwell, create love, make love, manifest. It better be on point.
You’ve said: “YOU are the door to the life you want. And there are so many more inside you” and that most people are ok with only opening a few doors. What are those doors for us and what’s on the other side – ie why is it worth opening more than a just a few?
Katie Henricks:
Woman, I love that you read my IG captions. Love this so much. You know, it's so easy to be complacent and comfortable. Opening these doors aka doing self-development work, self-discovery, being in deep discovery of YOU is scary and confronting and uncomfortable, but what I see over and over and over again is that THIS IS WHAT CREATES PERSONAL EMPOWERMENT.
"The way we get [our power] back is by doing self-worth work every single day. In our bodies, our pussies, our desire, our vulnerability, our hearts... find your worth in all of those areas."
I believe that having stellar confidence is about taking bold action consistently. Opening more than a few doors creates not only stellar confidence, but integrity with self, and sustainable trust in self. At the end of the day, you're born and die with yourself and no one else. You are your own longest LTR (Long Term Relationship). You better make it a good one, honey! Every time you open a door with yourself, you're strengthening your relationship with yourself. Every time you open a door with yourself, you develop deep intimacy with self. And if you can have it with yourself, you can have that with others.
How disconnected do you think most of us are to our power? And how can we get it back?
Katie Henricks:
This is a question I am really emotionally invested in. My answer is VERY! The patriarchy has us deeply believing and conditioned to believe we need something else to be powerful: a man, a baby, marriage, a different body, blah blah. Or we're taught, as young women, that being powerful means "do it like men do it." Feminine power looks and feels completely different and has a completely different effect. Feminine power is exponential and generative. It is not competitive or exclusive, like masculine power. Women do power differently. It's built-in desire, connection, sisterhood, vulnerability, intuition and collaboration. Our power connects us to our hearts and each other. I see women give their power away every single day. It's done in people pleasing, abandoning leadership in our own lives and by staying in our victimhood. The Feminine is the most powerful energy on the planet. We have the ability to destroy and create from a place of love, instead of fear. The way we get it back by doing self-worth work every single day. In our bodies, our pussies, our desire, our vulnerability, our hearts... find your worth in all of those areas.
How does opening up intimacy first with yourself then with other relationships impact your life?
Katie Henricks:
Love this question! If you don't have intimacy with self, there is no way we can have it with others. Intimacy with self feels like experiencing depth and devotion with yourself. When we're able to do this with ourselves, the result is that we're able to have really juicy, large-range experiences and relationships with others. We're able to go beyond the small talk and dig into relationships that feel purposeful and healing. The best way I see us exploring more intimacy with the self is by doing things that feel a little scary for us. It is having consistent practices with yourself that create strong foundations for relationships outside of us.
In terms of self-discovery, self-expression and self-pleasure, what are some ways we can explore more of what we like and ultimately who we are?
Katie Henricks:
• I love having a clitoral stroking practice. It sort of goes beyond a self-pleasure practice and helps you tap into your intuition and really feel what's happening in your system through your pussy.
• Just slowing the fuck down. Eating, speaking, relating, experiencing the world... it's so fast. Just slow it down and feel.
• I absolutely love doing desire work with women – Swamping will get you in your deeper, darker emotions in a very righteous way
• And I'm a huge fan of intuitive movement/non-linear movement.
• All of these are great practices to incorporate into your daily/weekly life.
We agree that “pregame is the most fun part”... why is this such a lost art and how can we spice it up?
Katie Henricks:
Pregame! OMG! So fun. Yes. Because relating sexually is psychological as much as physical... maybe even more. In order for women to open, we need time to connect with our partner(s) on an emotional and psychological level so that our bodies can fully open and experience the fullness of our pleasure. We've trained men out of how to pleasure us. We've taught most of them that our sexuality is masculine... it's quick and on/off, utilitarian, disconnected from the heart and it's all about them. I know this because women come to me because they've become professional orgasm fakers and are tired of pretending. That means we have to be vulnerable enough to get honest with ourselves and not only learn what we like, but learn to ask for what we like... that includes a TON of pregaming. Secondly, I believe that the most attractive quality about the Feminine is her sense of play. The way a woman can be taken out of control and thrown into her laughter and pure essence through connection to her heart. It's totally delicious! And we get to "play" by pregaming... allowing our connection to our partner to start a full day before we make love, a week, a month... I want my whole life to be a pregame lol. All of this is just play. Sex should be fun.
"I love having a clitoral stroking practice. It sort of goes beyond a self-pleasure practice and helps you tap into your intuition and really feel what's happening in your system through your pussy."
You’ve said that the feminine has no on/off switch. What do mean by that and how can we harness this energy more, better?
Katie Henricks:
I love how you have studied me so well that you know this about me. It's true. On/Off is another example of women being taught that our sex is masculine. Our sex is not binary. It is quite the contrary... it is EXPANSIVE energy. So it can shrink or be hungry or closed or it can push out, open and expand or get hotter but there is no switch. We harness more of this sexual feminine energy by practicing more pleasure. I believe that sex begets sex. My new course Hello Lover teaches you all about that. Buy that course. It's amazing.
What sex toys, positions, tricks, etc., do we need on our bucket list this year to stretch our boundaries and indulge in deeper Os…?
Katie Henricks:
Ooooh! So I love the Lelo Enigma from Wildflower Sex. It is one of the most extraordinary orgasms I've every had and just pushed my depth of pleasure so much.
• I'm always a fan of a crystal wand. Yoni Pleasure Palace or Chakrubs have amazing products!
• I'm also a big fan of a buttplug with simultaneous clitoral stimulation. This will practically give you a chiropractic adjustment when you climax. It can really be intense.
• I think facesitting is vastly underrated position and one of the most lusciously delicious experiences that I love to enjoy.
• And really just have approval for whatever turns you on. As long as it's Safe, Consensual and Feels Good... do whatever turns you on. But if you're feeling really randy, take a BDSM style class or Shibari Rope-tying class or start to play with some D/s dynamics with your partner.
We believe you’re not one thing, so your sexual fire isn’t either… how can we give all those mindsets and emotions a place to thrive and be seen?
Katie Henricks:
Get linked up with some amazing sisters doing this work. Having other women as models for how to have approval and lead with desire and heart is so incredibly powerful and gives us some infrastructure for how to do this thing. We learn to have approval for our sex from other women.
What’s one thing you teach women that you wish you would’ve known a lot earlier in life?
Katie Henricks:
Can I say... everything? lol. The one thing I wish I would have known way earlier that I now teach women is self-worth work 100%. It changes everything everything everything. I grew up with both physical and emotional abandonment and my self-worth was absolutely non-existent until around 10 years ago. This has changed my relationship with my body, my standards, relationships with me, my desire, with money, what I believe I deserve and also was tangled up with some codependency and addiction behaviors that were flying under the radar. This should be taught beginning in elementary school. Period.
How did Coach Katie move you, stir you, ignite you? Tell us in the comments. 👇💋
comments (1)
okay 1000% ready to take my feminine into my full power