how to fall in lust with yourself for better sex and self-love

put some self lust on the pleasure menu tonight

You know that saying that you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else? We think the same is true with lust. The more you flirt with, play with and seduce yourself, the more you stoke your sexual and creative fire for you and them. Not sure where to start? We've got some idea starters to play with below. Try them on, make up your own, put on some R&B and slow dance your ass to the bedroom.

xxx

Schedule solo sex.
You do it with a partner, why not yourself?

Leave yourself a dirty lust note on the mirror in lipstick.
Be specific and detailed, then do what you're told.

Dress up (meaning, down, ie your sexiest, yummiest looking lingerie)...
... for masturbation, or work, or the dishes, or whatever. We’re visual creatures too, people, lean in!

Create a vision board based on your sexual and creative energy.
Reminding yourself of your pleasure helps you stay juicy, inspired and ignited… use images that you can picture yourself being, doing, having when you’re thriving.

Break a few sex toys.
Okay... you don't have to break them, but at least test-drive the literal fvck out of them. Try a few new ones, try new ways to use old ones, try.., try..., try.... Grab a smoke, and try some more.

Make yourself lust-worthy to *you*.
What’s the one thing that always makes you feel drop dead gorgeous? Red lipstick? Winged eyeliner? A fresh blowout? Lana Turner waves? Thigh-high stockings? Weave your own gorgeousness into your everyday life so you become your own turn-on.

Think outside the bedroom.
Take your masturbation somewhere else! We're creatures of habit especially when it comes to sex so mixing it up doesn't just apply to partnered play. Hop on that washing machine, make that kitchen counter your bitch, make your grandma's vintage chair blush (she would understand).

Hype yourself like it's your job.

Rethink the body part you constantly complain about — your ass, your tummy, your thighs. Go on a personal PR tour and hype the shit out of it. Showcase it in your lingerie, talk dirty to it, celebrate it, stroke it.

Break down your inhibitions.
Pushing your own boundaries in small ways will expand your sex palate, your appetite and your self-discovery. (And there's no safer space for you than you.)

Masturbate with the lights on in front of a mirror.
(This doesn't really need explanation. Just get on it — or in it, your call.)

Take a sex workshop.
You'll learn new vocabulary or techniques that help you feel more confident about who you are and what you're into.

Do a sex shop fly-by.
Browse, explore, ask the staff what they like — they get paid to talk about sex so chat them up (and trust us, they've heard or been asked it all).

Ask a partner or bestie what’s on their fantasy fvck list.
Sometimes your imagination just needs a little cue to kickstart a whole new realm of adventure.

Tap that creative faucet (because sexual and creative energy are the same).
Cultivate creativity (and sexual fire) every day… whether it’s something small like 20 minutes of free-flowing journaling, drawing with crayons, doing a new makeup look, crafting a cocktail, shopping your closet for fits you’ve never worn before… creativity takes endless shapes so work them all.

Move that sexy-ass body!
Get outside and walk, stay inside and dance, do yoga, hop on that spin bike, go for a swim… get into your body, get in touch with your body, give your body some space to grow and flourish and feel strong and capable and loved and appreciated and adored.

Pretend you're something (or someone) you're not.

You don’t need a partner to try a little role play. Wear that boa, those heels, that wig. See who you become when you’re in your sexiest, dare-I-wear-it costume.

Book a boudoir shoot.
Either DIY or hit up your local boudoir photographer. Once you see yourself in a new light (and through the lens of a professional who can easily spot your assets), you'll learn to love (and lust after) what you've got.

Slick her up.
Ravish yourself head to toe by slicking on your favorite body oils. Linger, savor, massage, pet, explore. It's (probably) scientifically impossible to ravage your entire body with your eyes and fingers and not get turned on. (Psst... MIT, can we do this study?

Find new ways to wear lingerie.
Buy something you've longed for but never splurged on... a style that you thought was too daring but you just might dare to wear... cut a deep v into a basic bodysuit you already own to show more skin. Play, babe, it's where pleasure lives.

Turn the lights down low.
Ambience, people. Set the mood. Light the candles. Throw a red scarf over the lamp in the corner… create your own sensual boudoir. Think of it as a daily practice.

Create a musical fvcklist.

Just for you, make a playlist of your favorite dirty, provocative, romantic, sexy, flirty, sensual, erotic songs… the more variety, the better. The more range, the better. The more you play it, the better. The more you move to it, the wayyyyyyy better.

Take a pole class.

Moving your body sensually, feeling your body challenged in new ways, seeing how strong your body really is... is super-lusty and all just for you.

How do you fall in lust with yourself? 👇💋